On Twitter I've learned that I can pretty much set my watch by dudes derping into my mentions with their random horseshit. Because god forbid a woman assert something on the internet.
I love my boyfriend and of course all the men that I'm friends with, and a few - very few - known male advocates for women and other disenfranchised people.
But right now as far as I'm concerned the rest of you guys can pretty much show up for your assignments in the pits of hell.
Look at what happened at the Golden Globes. Yeah, I'm going to draw a parallel between a Hollywood awards show and the real world. One male winner - one! - talked about racism in the industry and in doing so made reference to the official "Time's Up" theme of the evening, and the rest either could not be bothered, didn't care, or were actively trying to avoid scrutiny on the subject (cough! cough! James Franco! cough!).
It was all too reminiscent of my experience on Facebook and other social media, where men, even some of my very awesome male friends, leave the feminist activism to the womens while they post about literally everything else. Where they leave women high and dry on their threads while their asshole male friends wax misogynistic about which women are whores and which ones are crazy and which ones are liars and which ones are fat and which ones are gross and old and which ones it's okay to call an ugly cunt because they are conservative.
A male friend of mine, who no doubt considers himself "one of the good ones," assured me that he is protecting his daughter from sexism because he and his wife (that is, his wife) have chosen a progressive preschool and are very careful about her playdates.
I'm not fucking kidding.
What's worse - and this is way, way, worse - he doesn't understand how offensive that belief is.
To think that sexism can be avoided so easily is to fundamentally, deliberately, and inexplicably refuse to understand what sexism is, and to misunderstand through such astounding lack of mental effort is a profound fucking insult to every woman who has struggled against the pervasive and insidious effects of sexism and misogyny every fucking day of her fucking life. I've spent my entire time on earth trying to extricate and protect myself from this bullshit system of judgement and oppression, but you've solved it by avoiding little Jason at the Montessori? Go fuck yourself.
In short, guys, you need to do WAY better. To start with, if the words "systemic sexism" furrow your brow, read a fucking book. Don't just waddle through social media in ignorance while asking female friends to explain to you your dumbass assumptions. Then, when you see sexism/misogyny at work, fucking call that shit out. Don't assume that because you're a man that it's HER job to beat back all the shitty ignorant arguments your friends are heaping upon her. We all perpetuate sexism, but men benefit from it, so it's YOUR FUCKING JOB TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
I can't tell you how many times I've come away from an online discussion literally shaking with fury because some man I used to admire averted his eyes while his friends took a deep dive into the misogyny pool. I'm tired of these kind of betrayals. I am bone fucking tired.
I love my boyfriend and of course all the men that I'm friends with, and a few - very few - known male advocates for women and other disenfranchised people.
But right now as far as I'm concerned the rest of you guys can pretty much show up for your assignments in the pits of hell.
Look at what happened at the Golden Globes. Yeah, I'm going to draw a parallel between a Hollywood awards show and the real world. One male winner - one! - talked about racism in the industry and in doing so made reference to the official "Time's Up" theme of the evening, and the rest either could not be bothered, didn't care, or were actively trying to avoid scrutiny on the subject (cough! cough! James Franco! cough!).
It was all too reminiscent of my experience on Facebook and other social media, where men, even some of my very awesome male friends, leave the feminist activism to the womens while they post about literally everything else. Where they leave women high and dry on their threads while their asshole male friends wax misogynistic about which women are whores and which ones are crazy and which ones are liars and which ones are fat and which ones are gross and old and which ones it's okay to call an ugly cunt because they are conservative.
A male friend of mine, who no doubt considers himself "one of the good ones," assured me that he is protecting his daughter from sexism because he and his wife (that is, his wife) have chosen a progressive preschool and are very careful about her playdates.
I'm not fucking kidding.
What's worse - and this is way, way, worse - he doesn't understand how offensive that belief is.
To think that sexism can be avoided so easily is to fundamentally, deliberately, and inexplicably refuse to understand what sexism is, and to misunderstand through such astounding lack of mental effort is a profound fucking insult to every woman who has struggled against the pervasive and insidious effects of sexism and misogyny every fucking day of her fucking life. I've spent my entire time on earth trying to extricate and protect myself from this bullshit system of judgement and oppression, but you've solved it by avoiding little Jason at the Montessori? Go fuck yourself.
In short, guys, you need to do WAY better. To start with, if the words "systemic sexism" furrow your brow, read a fucking book. Don't just waddle through social media in ignorance while asking female friends to explain to you your dumbass assumptions. Then, when you see sexism/misogyny at work, fucking call that shit out. Don't assume that because you're a man that it's HER job to beat back all the shitty ignorant arguments your friends are heaping upon her. We all perpetuate sexism, but men benefit from it, so it's YOUR FUCKING JOB TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
I can't tell you how many times I've come away from an online discussion literally shaking with fury because some man I used to admire averted his eyes while his friends took a deep dive into the misogyny pool. I'm tired of these kind of betrayals. I am bone fucking tired.
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