There. Feel better now?

Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about that dang story in the Post, and how completely fucking infuriating and condescending it was.

Especially coming from a paper whose level of credulousness was only surpassed by the NY Times's own neo-con ass pony.

Look, there's not a thinking person left anywhere who doesn't know in their heart that we were lied to, that we were played by the very people we entrusted to look after our interests.

And that 2500 servicemen and women, who pledged their lives to defend us from real threats to our safety, are now dead as a result.

It's been demonstrated that the war was inevitable, and only because our president wanted it that way. Clearly BushCo has a new world order in mind, and that order obviously requires America's very own middleast oil gusher.

And yet, the Post's David Finkel finds liberal blogger anger at the president so amusing, and definitely in a pathetic kind of way. It's funny, really, how upset we liberals get about that darn Bush administration and its foibles! Come on, we need to lighten up, and you know, we could also clean up our language too, huh?

What's with all the fucking expletives all the time?

We're just mad because the Republicans make jokes about us now.

You know it's true.

Look, there's been plenty of political scandals over the years, so settle down and cut the Bushies a break. Don't you remember the titillating "Petticoat Affair," or the intoxicating outrageousness of the "Whiskey Ring," or the balls-out impropriety that was "Teapot Dome?"

Sure, not a lot of people died in those scandals, but national politics, to say nothing of national commerce and...uh, teapots...or domes, or something, will never be the same.

So sit back and relax, liberals, and take a page from the Post: nothing you say makes any difference.

Fuck the Post

Could this piece be any more smug?

Dusty Baker Not Worried About Cubs' Hot Start

Oh, The Onion:

CHICAGO—Despite their impressive 4-2 start and the fact that their pitching and offense appears to be clicking on all cylinders, Cubs manager Dusty Baker said Wednesday that he has "no doubt" that his team will be able to turn things around in time to miss the playoffs.

"I know things look good right now, and you hate to see Cubs fans get encouraged early, but I'm certain that things will straighten themselves out and we'll be in third place by early May," Baker said at a press conference Wednesday. "With the talent and drive we lack, it's foolish to think that this team can continue playing at this rate all year."

"If it's September and we're still atop the division standings? Then we'll start panicking," Baker added.

In their disappointing series sweep of the rival Cardinals last weekend, the Cubs did all the little things right, winning ballgames with a combination of solid pitching, good defense, and timely hitting—fundamentals that Baker says his team will eventually ignore as the season goes on.

"The guys are in a bit of a groove right now, but they'll snap out of it," Baker said. "It's early yet. There's still plenty of time to get back off track and give the fans the kind of season they've come to know and expect."

An appointment in the Bush Administration?

A dog born without front legs walks upright as a biped.
A dog in Japan learns to ride a bike.

What's next for dogs?


(via Video Dog)

Like watching a gang of starving kids whack a pinata

WH Press Secretary McClellan is left twisting in the wind by BushCo. It's kinda hard not to feel sorry for him. (Via War Room)

QUESTION: So was the President made aware of the fact --

SCOTT McCLELLAN: And are you all going to apologize?

QUESTION: Was the President made aware of the faxed field report?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: Are you all going to apologize for that?

QUESTION: Was the President aware of the faxed field report?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: Is that a correct statement?

QUESTION: Scott, was the President made aware of the field report that was faxed?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: Jessica, I just told you, I've asked the intelligence community what they based this paper on. I can't tell you what they based their paper on. You have to. We're not an intelligence-gathering agency.

QUESTION: No, but was the field report faxed --

SCOTT McCLELLAN: The President made his comments based on this white paper that was publicly released by the Central Intelligence Agency and the Defense Intelligence Agency, which is the arm of the -- which is an arm of the Pentagon --

QUESTION: -- President have access to material before it's declassified, so the question is, was he aware of this report on May 27th?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: I just told you -- you shouldn't make any assumptions, but you should go and ask the intelligence community what was this based on. I can't tell you what they based that on. They're the intelligence-gathering agency.

QUESTION: You can tell us if the President had this information. Did he have this information?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: Jessica, this -- I just saw this report. I'll come back with more information if there is. But this is reckless reporting. And for you all to go on the air this morning and make such a charge is irresponsible.

QUESTION: But the President spoke very definitively --

SCOTT McCLELLAN: And I hope that ABC would apologize for it and make a correction on the air.

QUESTION: "We found" -- I'm quoting -- "We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories." That's what he said. He didn't say, "The evidence that's coming in suggests." He didn't say that. He said it definitively.

SCOTT McCLELLAN: No, let me tell you -- here is the briefing from the CIA conference call they did with reporters: "We are highly confident that the coalition forces in Iraq have discovered a mobile biological production plant." That's from the intelligence community. This was a joint paper -- not just the CIA, but also the Defense Intelligence Agency. So it was their assessment at the time.And you all should go back and look at the time period, as well, and see what was said at that time period. This is rehashing an old issue, that's all it is. There were -- stories covered it at this time. I mean, The Washington Post, on the very day that the President was asked a question -- the President was responding to a question, first of all, when he was asked. The Washington Post, on that very day, was printing articles talking about this, and other papers, as well.

Happy Easter, Jesus!

Kill Bunny from Robot Chicken

Oh, yes I did

Look, Moussaoui's clearly an asshole. And up to no good. And probably batshit crazy to boot.

What is less clear is what his role really was in the 9/11 plot.

And to base his death sentence on the premise that if he hadn't lied about what he knew, then 3000 people wouldn't have died...

...well, you know the rest.

Where is one of those annoying phone calls asking me if I want to switch long distance carriers when I really need one?

A retired AT&T technician says that the company has a pretty cozy business relationship with the NSA, and installed special equipment for the express purpose of monitoring phone calls, emails, and internet traffic.

Monster hit at Sundance

View the trailer for An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore's new documentary about global warming.

Dogs!

A year's worth of AFV doggage in one shot.

Fuck Colin Powell

He could have resigned rather than go to the U.N. and present information on Iraqi nuclear capability he knew to be false.

But he didn't, and 2500 Americans in service are dead, along with unknown thousands of Iraqi civilians.

CalTech grads control The Onion?

It's just a theory.

Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive: the gift that keeps on giving

If you are inclined to contemplate the life and death of Christ over the next couple of days, please consider this.


Thanks to Catmango

Pants on fire, part 2,452

WaPo:

On May 29, 2003, 50 days after the fall of Baghdad, President Bush proclaimed a fresh victory for his administration in Iraq: Two small trailers captured by U.S. and Kurdish troops had turned out to be long-sought mobile "biological laboratories." He declared, "We have found the weapons of mass destruction."

The claim, repeated by top administration officials for months afterward, was hailed at the time as a vindication of the decision to go to war. But even as Bush spoke, U.S. intelligence officials possessed powerful evidence that it was not true.

A secret fact-finding mission to Iraq -- not made public until now -- had already concluded that the trailers had nothing to do with biological weapons. Leaders of the Pentagon-sponsored mission transmitted their unanimous findings to Washington in a field report on May 27, 2003, two days before the president's statement.

And then the Lord asked if there were any more at home like her

CBS News via HuffPost:

Pat Robertson: And then I prayed. And I said, "Lord, what's wrong with her?" I just prayed silently. And the Lord said, "Ask about her sex life." And--

Rita Braver: The-- the Lord said that to you?

Pat Robertson: Yes, He said that to me. And I said, "There's no way I'm going to ask a strange woman about her sex life." So I said-- (COUGHS) "Excuse me for-- being personal, but would you tell me about your marriage." She said, "Oh, I have a wonderful marriage." I said, "You do?" She (UNINTEL PHRASE), "A wonderful husband, wonderful marriage. It's just absolutely marvelous." I said, "You do?" She said, "Yes." So I prayed again. (LAUGHTER) I said, "Lord, what's the matter?" And she-- He said, "Ask her about her sex life."

Rita Braver: I-- it's hard to imagine the Lord--

Pat Robertson: The-- the--

Rita Braver: --saying this to you--

Pat Robertson: --the Lord say-- well He did.

Have fun kissing this guy's ass on the campaign trail, McCain. Yeah!

Spooney, I love you

Because you did this for me. And for so many other reasons.

Happy Birthday, baby.

Onward Christian soldiers

General JC Christian, Patriot, quite rightly applauds the bravery of martyr Ruth Malhotra.

Better luck next year, Van Nuys

Baghdad was rated the worst city in the world to live in the third year in a row, according to Mercer.

One thing I love!

Feeling the need to rant?

Need to get a few things off your chest?

Like maybe...oh, 5 things?

Well, you're in luck.

Christ, here we go

Has Iran been the target all along? Will Iraq serve as our base of operations?

Seymour Hersh writing for the New Yorker (see also War Room analysis):

A government consultant with close ties to the civilian leadership in the Pentagon said that Bush was “absolutely convinced that Iran is going to get the bomb” if it is not stopped. He said that the President believes that he must do “what no Democrat or Republican, if elected in the future, would have the courage to do,” and “that saving Iran is going to be his legacy.”

One former defense official, who still deals with sensitive issues for the Bush Administration, told me that the military planning was premised on a belief that “a sustained bombing campaign in Iran will humiliate the religious leadership and lead the public to rise up and overthrow the government.” He added, “I was shocked when I heard it, and asked myself, ‘What are they smoking?’ ”