Ted Turner not responsible for this one

Your favorite harridan and mine, Katherine Harris, is claiming that at the time of her ethically compromised oversight of the Florida election process in 2000 while she was also a GW Bush campaign officer, newspapers altered her image, making her appear stranger than life by "colorizing her."

Tampa Tribune via Capitol Buzz:

On Monday, on a conservative radio talk show, Harris, now a congresswoman from Longboat Key running for the U.S. Senate, hit back, blaming newspapers for the criticism and charging that some - without saying which -altered her photographs.

"I'm actually very sensitive about those things, and it's personally painful,'' Harris said when host Sean Hannity asked about her image problems from 2000. "But they're outrageously false, No. 1, and No. 2, you know, whenever they made fun of my makeup, it was because the newspapers colorized my photograph,'' Harris said. She didn't explain what she meant by "colorized.'' Asked Tuesday to point to an altered photograph, Harris and her staff could not. Her response to the question, said spokesman Adam Goodman, was, "I haven't worn blue eye shadow since the seventh grade when I was in the Girl Scouts.''

Oh, right, and I haven't worn watermelon lip smacker since my 9th grade boyfriend turned gay and gave me an STD.

Wow, is she really that paranoid, that she thinks newspapers doctored her photographs to make it look like she was wearing a clown face? Didn't she realize every morning, when she got out her make-up trowel and paint rollers, that she looked like she was doing an endorsement for Dutch Boy?

Even some feminists who oppose Harris said she was the victim of a double
standard. "She got the criticism anybody in a political hot spot would get, but what she also got, what women get, is more attention to the things that are different from men,'' said Marie Wilson, of the White House Project, an organization that seeks to advance women in politics.

You want to advance women in politics? Outlaw Mary Kay representatives. Provide makeover subsidies to gay-unfriendly women, who clearly aren't getting enough help from the right people, if you know what I mean.

Oh, and by the way..."double standard" my ass. Have you been sleeping through all the jokes about Bolton's mustache?

I could get into the mountains and the goats and the cheese fondue and all, but the yodeling, man. I couldn't take the yodeling.

If you have HBO, and why the fuck wouldn't you, then you must watch Bill Maher's new concert special I'm Swiss.

Don't be distracted by Maher's freakishly large head and adoption of the ubiquitous comedy mullet. He is smarter than anyone in this town has a right to be, as evidenced by this quote from his new show:

"9/11 was a faith-based initiative."

Hangover rating system

From the geniuses at Fifth Circle of Cubicle Hell:

Two Star Hangover (**)No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Inherit the Wind - smothered in gravy, Texas style.

Lord help us:

President Bush invigorated proponents of teaching alternatives to evolution in public schools with remarks saying that schoolchildren should be taught about "intelligent design," a view of creation that challenges established scientific thinking and promotes the idea that an unseen force is behind the development of humanity.

No doubt that force is Republican. From Texas. Heh heh.

Although he said that curriculum decisions should be made by school districts rather than the federal government, Bush told Texas newspaper reporters in a group interview at the White House on Monday that he believes that intelligent design should be taught alongside evolution as competing theories.

"Both sides ought to be properly taught . . . so people can understand what the debate is about," he said, according to an official transcript of the session. Bush added: "Part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought. . . . You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas, and the answer is yes."

No, they're asking you whether you think religion should be taught in schools, and of course the religious right owns you on that issue. And excuse me, but "competing theories?" For them to compete as theories, don't they both have to be theories?

Opponents of intelligent design, which a Kansas professor once called "creationism in a cheap tuxedo," say there is no legitimate debate.

I love that line.

They see the case increasingly as a political battle that threatens to weaken science teaching in a nation whose students already are lagging.

Hmm...what's the matter with Kansas?

"It is, of course, further indication that a fundamentalist right has really taken over much of the Republican Party," said Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), a leading liberal lawmaker. Noting Bush's Ivy League education, Frank said, "People might cite George Bush as proof that you can be totally impervious to the effects of Harvard and Yale education."

Oh, snap! Get it, girlfriend.

Bush's comments were "irresponsible," said Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State. He said the president, by suggesting that students hear two viewpoints, "doesn't understand that one is a religious viewpoint and one is a scientific viewpoint." Lynn said Bush showed a "low level of understanding of science," adding that he worries that Bush's comments could be followed by a directive to the Justice Department to support legal efforts to change curricula.
Bush gave no sign that he intended to wade that far into the debate. The issue came up only when a reporter from the Knight Ridder news service asked him about it; participants said the president did not seem especially eager to be asked. "Very interesting question," he told the reporter playfully.

Don't you believe the whole "not especially eager" thing. Nothing is an accident with these guys.

And the hits just keep on coming

We've got to get out of there. We should never have gone in there. WaPo:

BAGHDAD, Aug. 3 -- Insurgents killed 14 U.S. Marines and their civilian interpreter in a roadside bomb attack in northwestern Iraq Wednesday, just one day after the military announced that seven U.S. Marines were killed in an unusual small-arms attack on Monday, the military said.

The military said the Marines were killed Wednesday morning when their amphibious assault vehicle was attacked just south of the northwestern city of Haditha, which is 125 miles northwest of Baghdad. One Marine was also wounded in the attack, the military said.Six of the Marines killed Monday were slain in the same area, the military said, which is a known hiding place for insurgent fighters.

The killings brought the number of U.S. military personnel killed in Iraq since the March 2003 start of the war to 1,816, according to figures released by the Pentagon.

Paula Kelly Orchestra

You have got to check out the Paula Kelley Orchestra next time they are playing in your town.

Saw them play at the Mint, and they were lush and quirky and beautiful. Plus, what's not to love about muted trumpet?

Here's me and Paula hanging out in the VIP room, y'all. At least, we were calling it the VIP room...

Then, later, they had a gin giveaway. I swear to god, they was giving away some new brand of gin.

And me and Paula had us some gin.

Here's what bad gin girls look like:















Thanks to Josh for taking our picture.

So...are we officially "less safe" yet?

Why did those assholes bomb, and try to bomb again, the London subway?

No, not because they hate the Brit's freedom.

This is great, actually, because we don't have to guess why they did it, or make up goofy shit about why. They told us why they did it.

They did it because of the Brit's support of the invasion of Iraq.

It's that simple.

Dang, y'all

I'm sorry to make everyone rearrange their bookmarks (you are bookmarking me, right?) but I could NOT deal with Salon blogs and their technical non-support anymore.

We'll see how this one works.