Monday, July 23, 2007

Whew!

Sorry, readers, but what with the release of a Harry Potter book AND a Harry Potter movie on the same day, Los Angeles had temporarily become a swirling vortex of geeky kiddie fantasy media. The smell of Clearasil and crushed adolescent hopes was so thick in the air I was forced to strap myself to the couch next to a cooler of beer and bust out the skanky 80s porn in order to avoid regressing several decades into someone who actually gives a shit about that fucking dink.

But I'm back now.

22 comments:

Spooney said...

"skanky 80s porn"
That's the best kind!...back when there was still some whisker on the biscuit.

Larry Jones said...

Dink? You said dink?

Michael said...

Oh where will the wood screws penetrate your cat's poor skull as you attach its antlers? Hpw many Whoville homes will you clean out to justify your miserable rage?

Flannery Alden said...

I'll have to remember this technique. It sounds useful.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Spooney: Back when women were allowed to have real boobs, instead of helium-filled cantalopes bolted to their chests. Yes, it was a simpler time.

Larry: On Sunday, I sat next to a college-age kid having brunch with his family. He was wearing a long scarf jauntily wrapped around his neck in spite of the fact that it was 90 degrees outside, and he did not look up from his copy of the new HP book ONCE during the entire meal. Probably on his second time through by then, of course.

So yes, dink.

Michael: Oh, sure, I'M the Scrooge, I'M the Grinch. Listen, buster, if you had to live in a town with non-stop all-Harry-Potter, all-the-time coverage, you'd want to haul off and punch out one of those bespectacled little faux Limey creeps yourself. What's happened to this country? It used to be that families would hide children like that away in institutions for fear of destroying their good name. Now they parade them around like show dogs, and expect us all to pat them on the head and applaud. I say we draft them all into national service and ship them collectively to Afghanistan, Iraq, and Darfur and see how magic they really are.

Flannery: Also extremely useful during the media frenzy preceding the release of anything Lucas-related.

Skylers Dad said...

Ah yes, back when muffs were muffs, and looked like a slice of New York pizza...

Speaking of 80's porn, doesn't Harry take Hermione from behind in this one?

GETkristiLOVE said...

Thank god, I thought I was the only one that thinks young Potter is a dink and this whole hooplah is annoying as hell. We must be related or something.

CiscoKid said...

I'll be the fly in the soup...
I do like the book and the movies, though I haven't rushed to see the movie or buy the book. However, I feel like you about the whole non-sense midnight rush to get the "first" copies of the book..

cheer34 said...

I bought my copy of the book at 2pm saturday. No one was in line and there were hundreds of Harry Potter books available.

I did see the news coverage of the 1000 or so people standing in line at midnight for the local Barnes and Noble to open, but nothing to much else. Except that almost everyone was reading the book all day Saturday and Sunday. The readers were in the parks, coffee houses, restaurants, their cars, they were everywhere. At least I had the decency to read in the privacy of my cottage.

Michael said...

vtt: Look, honey, you chose LA, where everyone expresses their individuality by strapping on the cowbell that is the season's megahit. Up here, we get one or two Asian girls in wizard robes at the Richmond In n' Out. It's quite bearable. In other words, it's not us, it's you (all).

sd: Speaking of which, a friend of mine sent me a HP draft a couple weeks ago, wanting to know if it might be book 7. There's a scene in it toward the end where Ginny Weasley puts on a sexy bikini and lures Harry to a private beach. I can email it as soon as you have some private time.

GKL: Of all the people to have a problem with little kids getting up in costume for the sheer fun of it...

Jess said...

Eighties/shmeighties! There's no porn like 70s porn, in my book.

The movie kinda sucked. And I'm ALL ABOUT wizadry and all that crap. Personally, I like the Harry Potter stuff (not enough to run out and buy the book in hardcover, however), but there's WAY better stuff out there! I don't really understand why Harry has touched the hearts & minds of so many people the way it has. I gotta say, though, anything that gets kids (heck, and adults) reading is OK. (I was going to say "in my book", but I already said it above. And I refuse... REFUSE to repeat myself!)

Now "The Golden Compass"? (an awesome book and hopefully awesome movie coming out in December) and "Stardust" (another awesome book that's coming out as hopefully an awesome movie)? I'm ALL OVER that shit.

Grant Miller said...

Beer and Gorilla Pie. Good times.

Megan said...

Vikki, I'm with you on the ridiculous hoopla but I second what Jess said about how many former non-readers HP has turned on to the whole reading thing. I also second her praise of The Golden Compass, which is one of my all-time favorites. And they kill God in it, so you might like it. :-)

kirby said...

I was going to say something, but Grant's post scared it out of me.

Skylers Dad said...

You MUST send it as soon as you can Michael!

sv said...

Did LA take a break from Harry Potter to cover Lindsay Lohan's (?SP?) latest crisis? My head's been in the sand--I don't know what she's ever done in her life, but Denver's (sad) radio waves are full of chat about the DUI and Coke bust. I just wanted to hear some music!!! Too bad my Ipod is a piece of crap!!!

Lisa said...

Yeah...so I got through the first two books and -- because of a combination of fuckitallism and an inability to get jacked over any and most fiction -- petered out on the Potter.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Well, leave it that little four-eyed fuckface to inspire a post with more reader comments than anything else I've written about recently.

GETkristiLOVE said...

EmmE: I'm sorry, is he in costume? I've only ever seen him in a robe to pretend he's doing some kind of magic shit. If there is one thing I hate, it's a costume that's lame and overdone.

Michael said...

vtt: Just the opposite results for me. I practically admitted I had a, uh, "pre-release" copy of Book 7. Not much reaction.

sd: Comin' atcha. You've been warned on the creep factor, but here's the other. The writing might make you wince. Caveat cornu voyeur!

gkl: Well, it is a British sense of costume. They only wear the robes for school and work. But who wants to see a kid in street clothes on a book cover?

Jess said...

Well, a few hours after my little comment about "not buying it in hardcover", Jeff came walking in and triumphantly deposited it on my lap.

"Ya done good, kid," I told him and friggin' read it.

It was pretty good!

I find it intriguing that Harry is probably the LEAST interesting character in all the books. It's everyone around him that has more personality.

It's like looking into a mirror.

frogboots said...

as a professional student and soon-to-be-professor of children's lit (yeah, fucking dork, right?), i have to admit: i got mine at midnight and read it right through.

when else does a BOOK generate that kind of excitement?

and it was a good concluding volume, although not as good as The Golden Compass.

Incidentally, Golden Compass is the first in the trilogy by PHILIP PULLMAN, called His Dark Materials, and they are all THE BEST DAMN BOOKS EVER WRITTEN.

for real. you're missing out on something incredible if you don't read these books.