Tuesday, April 27, 2010

You're doing fine, Oklahoma!


As we inch ever closer to women having fewer rights in this country than they did 40 YEARS AGO, I have become gradually inured to the idiocy and cruelty of those in the anti-abortion movement.

So it came as no surprise to me that the Oklahoma legislature has decided that women (all women - without exception for rape victims, or those who have conceived through incest) seeking to have an abortion must not only submit to an ultrasound, as several other states already require, but that the doctor must position the ultrasound monitor where the woman can see it, and (in case she chooses not to look) the doctor must also describe the physical characteristics of the fetus, including its limbs and organs.

Pfft! Snooze. Why don’t you call me back, Oklahoma, when you pass a law requiring women to name the fetus, paint the nursery, and buy one of those really expensive strollers? Then we’ll talk. Until then, you’re fucking rank amateur female subjugators. You’re like the Bristol Palin of women hating. You’re all blah blah blah, don’t have sex if you aren’t rich enough to hire someone else to take care of your baby for you, sluts. I challenge you, Oklahoma, to get all medieval on us women, and I mean literally medieval. Like, pass a law that any woman wanting an abortion must be burned at the stake first. Then we’ll know you’re really serious about this oppression of women shit. Until you do that - fuck off, Oklahoma. Go stage another production of that nancy musical with your name in it that you love so much, you fucking pussies.

Except, uh-oh, it appears that Oklahoma took me up on my dare, readers. Because they just also passed a law that “protects doctors from malpractice suits if they decide not to inform the parents of a (sic) unborn baby that the fetus has birth defects. The intent of the bill is to prevent parents from later suing doctors who withhold information to try to influence them against having an abortion.”

Wow. Just fucking wow, Oklahoma. You got me. I mean, I wasn’t expecting you to come at us from quite this angle but I got to say…wow.

You’ve just legalized doctors lying to women so that doctors can make women’s medical decisions for them.

Ah…it’s fucking brilliant. I applaud you, and your stupid musical, too. And I expect you not to rest on your laurels Oklahoma, but to muck back in straightaway and start passing some legislation that will enable others to lie to us too, like pharmaceutical companies, and medical device manufacturers, and oh, fuck it, why not include the people who make tampons and douches and feminine hygiene sprays and Pamprin and condoms and spermicides and all that shit that women use to deal with that nasty fucking hole they got between their legs that separates them from all the real people walking the face of this earth? Because bitches be some dumb fucking bitches, bitches. And the fewer things they got to think about, the better.

13 comments:

Jess said...

Horrifying.

Michael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael said...

Make that two states I won't travel to voluntarily.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

And I thought my state was a backwards hell hole at times.

Marshall Park Slope said...

Wow indeed, Vikki. Just wow wow wow. I just can't even make sense of it all.

vikkitikkitavi said...

The Onion stole my joke: http://www.theonion.com/video/new-law-requires-women-to-name-baby-paint-nursery,14393/

Mnmom said...

Bastards

kittens not kids said...

well, cross Oklahoma off my list of "states i'm willing to move to for a job in academia."

this is beyond appalling.

dguzman said...

First the Crooks and Liars link, and now The Onion is stealing from you -- you're hitting the bigtime, and it's about time!

Liberality said...

fucking bastards!

kiki said...

wow. unbelievable. wow.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Oklahoma is hok-ey.

Shana said...

Good thing I am not Oklahoma bound