Holy fucking shit, I am just so fucking happy that the NYTimes has installed William Kristol on their op-ed page in time for the ‘08 election.
I’m not being sarcastic!
I figure I can go and read Kristol’s columns, and then just like George in “The Opposite” episode of Seinfeld, know that we should, as a nation, do exactly the opposite of what Kristol thinks we should do.
If you’re unfamiliar with the unfailing wrongitude of Kristol, check out this awesome Tom Tomorrow cartoon, which, as usual, sums up the matter quite nicely in just a few frames.
So what choice bit of bizarro-world wisdom did Kristol have for us yesterday as he contemplated the possibility of a liberal Democrat winning in November?
“We don’t want to increase the scope of the nanny state, we don’t want to undo the good done by the appointments of John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court, and we really don’t want to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory in Iraq.”
See what I mean? That old “jaws of victory” chestnut! You can’t make up shit like that.
It’s an interesting strategy that BushCo and his hard-core cronies like Madame Kristol have attempted to foist onto the American public: that if you never define the goals of the game, and never leave the field of play, then you can claim yourself to be on the cusp of victory ad infinitum.
Or at least until a Democrat takes office in January of 2009, at which point Nostradamus Kristol and the like will no doubt begin chronicling the many ways in which we are losing in
Regarding his invocation of the “nanny state”…it’s touching, isn’t it, when the filthy rich, who can afford whatever trifles their cold, mean little hearts desire, explain to the hoi polloi that healthcare, equal education, and workplace protections are the legislative equivalent of having the hired help wipe your bum for you?
Not that I doubt Kristol as an expert on hired help, I’m sure he’s had his bummed wiped for him plenty of times, I just think that it’s one thing to deny a crust of bread to a starving man, and quite another to tell that man that such mean sustenance is actually Beluga caviar.
And don’t get me started on the “good” done by Roberts and Alito, who, most recently, could not see their way to clear to outlawing a method of prisoner execution so unreliable and possibly tortuous that the American Veterinary Association refuses to use it on animals.
So I think you can all plainly see that, if we are to succeed as a nation, we must elect a president that will care for the people, appoint actual human beings to the Supreme Court, and get the fuck out of
How you interpret the above direction, is up to you.