The Gitmo taint is some powerful stanky taint, readers, more powerful even than the Blagojevich taint, from what I hear.
And speaking of the Blagojevich taint...
Boo. Bad. Very very very very bad for
And no, I also don’t care that the formerly cool formerly Black Panther Congressman Bobby Rush likened the Senate to a “plantation,” and Burris to some kind of latter-day Mandingo. Um, just kidding about the Mandingo part.
But only just.
So, in case the press hasn't made it clear yet, Roland Burris is a joke, and I’ll give you 3 reasons why:
- His 2 kids are named Roland Burris and Rolanda Burris. Rolanda. C'mon, even George Foreman would blush at Rolanda.
- He seems to have trouble distinguishing tombstones from resumes.
Wait, I just remembered another one. Make that 4 reasons:
- He thinks that his appointment was ordained by God. Haven’t we learned by now that remarks like that are never a good sign?
Sorry, 5. I got 5. Wait, 6.
- He believes that
deity Abraham Lincoln is not only aware of the job he’s doing, but gave him an excellent performance review. Illinois
- He cried racism where none existed, and by doing so has cheapened a claim that should never, ever, be invoked in bad faith.
Okay, 7. But that’s it.
- When asked whether he would run for re-election when his appointee term was up, he said “Let me get my Senate legs under me and get in and raise some money to pay for all this stuff.” Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witnessed a preview of the Roland Burris legislative agenda.
- He weighed another man’s life against a negligible risk to his political ambitions and chose…his political ambitions.
Are we seeing the common thread yet?
You know, the late, great Mayor Harold Washington once famously explained to the city of
Well, that didn't take long. Burris, who was called in today to testify in front of the Illinois House impeachment committee, has admitted that he spoke to a representative of Blago's regarding the empty Senate seat.
What so bad about that? Only that he swore an affidavit stating that he had no such contact.
The Best Part: Burris defended himself by saying that he had originally contacted Blago's rep (actually a former chief of staff and close friend of the governor) not to lobby for the Senate seat, but to try to drum up state business for his consulting firm.
Because that's so much better.