Monday, March 05, 2007

Jesus's ipecac


You might have heard about the city manager in Largo, Florida, who was fired by the City Commission after 14 years of exemplary service because he was about to undergo a sex-change operation.

A huge crowd of supporters attended the commission meeting in city hall, but an even bigger crowd of religious idiots also attended. Pastor Ron Saunders of the Largo Lighthouse Baptist Church had this to say: "If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he'd want him terminated."

Dammit! I guess I have once again grossly misinterpreted the teachings of Jesus!

You know, I wish that when preachers and other religious folks feel free to speak for Jesus, that they would perhaps throw in a quote or two, or other example of what their understanding of Jesus is based on, because when I think of Jesus, I keep coming up with stuff like this:
Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.

You know, pansy-ass shit like that.

But you know, every time I hear some genius like Pastor Ron Saunders flap his stupid pie-hole, I am reminded of the wisdom of Frederick, who said "If Jesus ever came back and saw what is going on in his name, he would never stop throwing up."




9 comments:

dad said...

Onward Christian Soldiers.

Anon. Blogger said...

Amen, Baby!

GETkristiLOVE said...

I hear ya, I certainly can't stop throwing up... hey wait, maybe I'm Jesus.

Johnny Yen said...

In Woody Guthrie's song "Jesus Christ" he makes the point that if Jesus were to come back today, it would be the religious zealots who would be leading the pack to crucify him, and that they'd do it even sooner.

Jess said...

I imagine the LAST thing the "christians" really want is for Jesus to actually... come back.

I never understood how the various Jesus-based religions are steeped in the complete opposite of what Jesus actually preached about.

"Turn the other cheek"?
"The meek shall inherit the earth"?
"A rich man shall not enter into heaven"?
And those are the quotes I (who am completely in the dark in regards to Jesus and what he had to say) KNOW about!

I'm pretty sure he didn't say anything about buying wicked expensive shoes (like the pope. Apparently the devil isn't the ONLY one who wears Prada!)

Skye said...

Sadly I am more and more certain every day that renouncing my faith in the Christian church was the right decision to make.

What with its shining examples of leadership and its reputation for fairness and honesty, I'm sure you can understand the difficulty.

Is there such a thing as a sympathy vomit?

Dave said...

(thunderous applause) Amen. Testify, Sister!

Skylers Dad said...

Let me hear you say yeah-ya sister Vikki!

Put your hands on your computer monitor and bask in the warm glow that is your love for fellow man!

Damn! Where did I put my cheesy toupee again?...

kirby said...

Yeah, that scene with Frederick runs through my head a lot these days.