Friday, November 30, 2007

I just hope we don't see no Muslims

Now listen, everyone. I am only going to explain this once:

Okay to be named Muhammad.




Not okay to be named Muhammad.


The fact that Muhammad is an extremely touchy prophet is a very important and serious and not at all laughable or ridiculous tenet of the Muslim faith, everyone. So wipe those smirks off your faces.

Last week, I heard Muhammad was in a bar hanging around with some associates. And Muhammad told this joke, see, and one of the guys remarked that Muhammad was “funny.”

Big mistake. Because, see, Muhammad totally took it the wrong way, asking why he was “funny,” and if that meant that he was like a “clown” to this associate.

So then Muhammad pulled out a jihad, and the other guy pulled out a fatwa, and…Christ, let’s just say it did not end well, okay?

And so, and in honor of the prophet of Islam, and in solidarity with him as he suffers the travail of having the insipid stuffed toys of children named after him, I have decided to rename my cooch “Muhammad.”

But just for the day. Tomorrow she goes back to being Mr. Spock.

19 comments:

GETkristiLOVE said...

Sorry everyone. Hoo-hoo posts run in our family.

Red said...

Wow. A) "Hoo-hoo" reminds me of "ho-ho", which this gay director I worked with used. I also think that it mainly/only referred to female organs. 2) The fact that yours has male names intrigues and disturbs me. Mine is more or less nameless at the moment. I'll cop to thinking of "her" by the name my ex gave her, but I certainly don't share that with the new guy.

Chris said...

That's cool, GKL. Poo posts run in mine.

Spooney said...

Speaking of poo, I made a huge one this morning & I named it Muhammad.

dguzman said...

Die, infidels, die!!!

vikkitikkitavi said...

GKL: A hoo-hoo post?!? What, did you only read the last 3 sentences?

Red: I remember Ho-hos. I would think that would be more of a dick nickname than a cooch nickname.

Chris: Scat.

Spooney: LOL, baby.

DGuz: Oh yeah? Well, why don't you blow us up then, if you think you're so big?

vikkitikkitavi said...

BTW, Spooney, I really was expecting a prop for the post title.

Bubs said...

This could be a great book title:

"A Vajayjay Named Muhammad."

So, how long before you're being burned in effigy by a Pakistani mob?

vikkitikkitavi said...

If one more person asks me that today...

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

That sounds logical.

SkylersDad said...

Since we know all about your sisters, how is Muhammad shaped/trimmed?

kirby said...

O.K., here's the thing about that whole Muhammed as teddy bear snafu. People are calling for the murder of the teacher because she let the class name the bear Muhammed. But where are the people calling for the slaughter of those those little bastards that actually did the naming?

Distributorcap said...

i guess Jesus is out for the name of my wee-wee

SJ said...

How come M. Ali got away with it? That's what I want to know. I think it has something to do with Wikipedia being in too many languages.

kiki said...

what i don't understand is that the British govt is doing absolutely nothing!!

dguzman said...

Oh yeah? Well maybe... aw, forget it!

Mr. Spock???

Doc said...

I read the post, then I read the comments, then I had to go back and reread the post again.

The first time I read it I thought it said "couch". I was just wondering who would name their couch Mr. Spock, let alone Muhammad.

Cooch makes much more sense and naming it Mr. Spock sounds so logical.

Doc

Spooney said...

Mr. Spock is a Vulcan, not a vulva.

Evil Spock said...

Woah, woah, woah, woah.

Evil Spock's doppleganger that Evil Spock has been wanting to destroy so that Evil Spock can usurp his position in this dimension was in your pants the whole time?!?

When Spock returns, please give Evil Spock an appropriate time to come over.