Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Jamestown, CA

I am, like just about every other American this time of year, thinking about how thankful I am for various things.

As I was walking by my company’s conference room this morning and looking in the window, I realized that I am thankful that I am not one of those guys who has to sit in a meeting where the Power Point presentation is titled “Gasket Update.”

I am also thankful I am not a member of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. Because I don’t know how I could sleep at night, knowing that I am denying the members of the Writer’s Guild from getting even one penny* of the profits that I make on the downloads of programs that they fucking wrote.

I am thankful I am not Hillary Clinton, because if someone were to ask a question about me, in public, and that question was “How can we beat the bitch?”, I would hope that the person on the receiving end of the question, even if he were a Republican, would say, “Hey, that’s not an appropriate way to refer to Bells On blogger Vikkitikkitavi in a public forum,” and not “That’s an excellent question! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

I am also thankful I am not any of the Republican presidential candidates. Because I think it would be very difficult to appeal to both 1) the idiots who still insist that Bush is NOT dangerously incompetent and a criminal worthy of impeachment, and to 2) the other sensible Republicans who are trying to salvage their party from the moral garbage heap. I mean, how do you get BOTH of these groups to vote for you? Besides giving tax cuts to fetuses who make over $200,000 a year, that is.

I am thankful I do not drive a BMW, because, well…those people all seem to be assholes, don’t they?

I am very very thankful that I am not a rape victim in Saudi Arabia. In this country, we’re all too familiar with a legal system that “adds insult to injury,” but there, it’s more like “adding vile and shameful travesty of justice to absolutely crippling physical and emotional trauma.”

I am thankful I am an atheist, because it makes me feel self-reliant in the face of chaos, which, holy shit, prepares you for just about anything life throws at you, including cat-turd-laced dog vomit.

And I am so thankful I am not a member of the armed services in Iraq, trying to deal with the distress and danger and uncertainty of my situation while my “grateful nation” tries to screw me out of my signing bonus and charge me for hospital meals after my legs get blown off.

I am equally thankful that I am not an Iraqi citizen, trying to deal with an army of adrenaline-crazed, heavily-armed foreigners who have no idea, and usually about 1 second to decide, whether I am their enemy or their friend.

But I am not only thankful for those things I am not, you know. I am also thankful for those things I do have, including great friends, and family, and the best boyfriend in the world. Also: weekend morning sex, and farmer’s markets, and diner breakfasts, and coffee, and driving north on Highway 1, and sand dollars, and little silver charms, and 3 a.m. Star Trek reruns.

I am thankful my divorce didn’t make me less likely to love Spooney, but more so.

I am even thankful for this here blog, as juvenile and foul-mouthed and opinionated and intolerant as it may seem to be. I do, as you may have guessed by now, have a bit more love for my fellow countrymen than I let on sometimes. Have a good Thanksgiving Day holiday, all you Americans out there, wherever you find yourselves.

*link courtesy of Very Hot Jews


Johnny Yen said...

Have a good Thanksgiving yourself. And thanks for all the great reading you've given me for the past year or so.

Distributorcap said...

that was a great way to move into the holiday

and thanks for giving me some of the best reading of the year

have a wonderful holiday viki

dad said...

I am blessed to have such a wonderful family.

CiscoKid said...

Happy Thankgiving to you too...

SkylersDad said...

Have a happy one and a great, hopefully long, weekend. I am thankful for funny intelligent people in my life out here on the Intertubes.

bro said...

hey wait a minute... I drive a BMW... (somtimes)

kiki said...

i had this whole sarcastic comment about the saudis doubling the sentences of the 7 men convicted

but i thought it was inappropriate

GETkristiLOVE said...

Bro drives a BMW, Sis hates BMW drivers - Fight! Fight! Fight!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

And we in turn are grateful for you and your blog. Rock on Ms Vikki.

'Bubbles' said...

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

That picture of you and Spooney is great!

Bro said...

What about those of us that are comfortable in our own skin in spite of , not because of driving a BMW? :P

dguzman said...

you're so awesome. great post, as usual.

and again, sorry for your dog vomit experience. blech, that must've sucked so freakin' bad.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Bro: I'm sure you drive your BMW in a totally different way.

Grant Miller said...

I'm thankful you link to me.