Friday, February 15, 2008

House wins!


Let’s hear it for the House of Representatives, who have so far refused to adopt the coward’s version of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. In the Senate version, which passed thanks to the votes of 68 corrupt bastards and/or morons (all voting Senate Republicans + 20 so-called Democrats), telecommunications companies, which allowed illegal government access to their customer communications, will be protected from prosecution.

After the House insisted on working on their own version of the bill without the telecom immunity, President Fucktard threw a public hissy fit and threatened the country with another terrorist attack. Apparently, all the terrorists have been waiting for is for the Democrats to refuse to grant immunity from lawsuits to the telecoms.

Hey, don’t laugh, you know there are people out there in wingnut land who’ll believe crap like that, as long as it’s coming out of the mouth of Limbaugh or O’Fuckface or any of the other lying sacks of feces that have earned the credulity of this sorry nation of wimpy, whining, brain-dead sheep.

So, the Shit-for-Brains-in-Chief is claiming that if they are not given immunity, the telecoms will stop cooperating with intelligence officials, thereby endangering American citizens. I have two problems with this assertion:

  1. It’s not true.
  2. It don’t even make no kind of goddamn sense.

The telecoms can’t just stop cooperating with the government. And just in case there are any Republicans reading this post, I am going to explain why. Slowly. With small words:

BECAUSE IT IS AGAINST THE LAW.

See? That’s not so hard to understand, is it? If the government has a warrant, then the telecoms have to comply. They have to. Legally, they have no choice.

The reason why people want to sue the telecoms in the first place, is because they gave the information away without a warrant. Basically, without being compelled by law.

So, see how it’s good for both sides to have a warrant before they go invading the privacy of American citizens? It’s good for the government to have a warrant, because it ensures cooperation, and it’s good for industry, because it protects against litigation and prosecution. Compliance with the law is an excellent defense against lawsuits, in case you didn’t know.

Warrants are good for everybody! Good on the Constitution of the United States for requiring warrants! Warrant are fucking awesome, dude. I don’t know why more Republicans don’t like them.

I think, if some jack-booted thugs came a-knockin’ on their door they’d sure as hell be asking to see a warrant.

13 comments:

Johnny Yen said...

Why is it that conservatives blather on about protecting freedom, but jump at every chance to restrict it?

Madam Z said...

Fucking awesome post, Vikkietc!
I wish you could talk to my husband, who thinks that the government should be able to do whatever it darned well pleases, to "protect" us. Then I say (with eyes bulging and mouth frothing), "What about the Constitution? What about the Land of the Free? Would you like to live in the Gulag?" And he says, "Yeah, just wait till the terrorists strike again! Fat good the Constitution will do you then!" And on...and on... and on...

Dad E said...

You have captured the essence of the importance of warrants. You know we might give the president a little more room to operate if we believed the president was honest, efficient and we trusted him. But the beauty of our system is checks and balances by law, regardless of the personalities involve. I think it would be worth trading away holding the telecom industires to litigation in order to get the absolute need to have a warrant. This is a compromise I could live with.

SkylersDad said...

I am tired of hearing the lame excuse "If you don't have anything to hide, what's the problem?".

Chris said...

Wait, compliance with the law is an excellent defense against lawsuits? Now THAT is some radical commie liberal thinking!

Bubs said...

Ah, great post, and I especially loved the last couple of paragraphs--it's good to remember the truly hysterical, anti-federal law enforcement rhetoric that came out of the mouths of some of these rightwingers back in the 90's.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Why do you hate America so much?

Leonesse said...

I love this post. I have been trying to tell everyone around here that he is BREAKING THE LAW, but no one seems to listen. Can they still be that stupid? Really?

Grant Miller said...

Less than a year of this stuff.

dguzman said...

We hope so, Grant, we hope so.

Great post, Vik--I'm just waiting for the day when someone in the news media finally calls the Fucktard on these ridiculous statements. But I won't hold my breath...

Hot Lemon said...

X

Warren Beatty said...

Who elected these clowns?

Distributorcap said...

it is about time --- nnancy and co has been so ineffective and wimpy and they finally stood up -- i hope they finally will CONTINUE to stand up