Obama & Biden vs. McCain and a woman

First of all, yes, Obama’s speech last night was everything it needed to be. I liked how he named the elephant in the room, so to speak, when he rejected out loud the charge that Democrats cannot run on national security. It’s a spurious charge, but one so oft-repeated by pundits that politicians and the mainstream media and those who parrot their views treat it as if it were the truth, instead of damnable spin.

Obama laid out his platform with specifics, and he took on McCain in exactly those areas where McCain believes he is stronger: temperament, experience, and the war. It was such a strong but still respectful attack that MSNBC commentator Pat Buchanan actually swooned. Buchanan went on so long about what a great speech it was that Keith Olbermann had to finally cut away because, he said, smiling, “we don’t have enough time to let Pat Buchanan finish praising Barack Obama.”

But the high did not last long, readers, because the thing I most feared all along has come true: McCain has picked a woman as a running mate.

It’s got to be one of the most cynical political picks since Clarence Thomas was chosen to replace Thurgood Marshall. Back then, you could imagine the frantic behind-the-scenes scurrying as Republicans scoured the land for the last surviving Uncle Tom with a decent enough resume that they could present him with a straight face. Now, it’s as if the Republicans have decided that the most important qualification their VP pick must have is the ability to add an asterisk to the description of Obama’s campaign as “historic.”

I mean, is this move a tad on the transparent side, or what? The McCain strategy has all the subtlety of the American Pie franchise. They’re all “Oh yeah, well, we got a woman, and you don’t anymore! And p.s., ours is hawt!”

CLEARLY the McCain camp hopes to siphon off women from Obama’s supporters. Why else would a 72-year-old man choose a running mate whose total experience in government is two years as governor, and several stints as city councilwoman and mayor in a town of 6 thousand people? I guess they’re not planning on hitting Obama’s inexperience too hard any more, eh? Because when you put a man McCain’s age (sorry, DadE!) in the Oval Office, you have to look pretty hard at the qualifications of the veep.

According to my Alaskan connections, Palin is well-respected in Alaska because she ran on a pledge to clean up the rampant cronyism and corruption in the state, and has had moderate success. They see her as playing an important role in redirecting the funds for the infamous “bridge to nowhere,” which brought so much negative attention to Alaskan politics.

There is also a scandal involving Palin currently under investigation. It involves a fired commissioner who refused to fire her former brother-in-law who may have been violently stalking her sister. I’m going to reserve judgment on that until more is known.

Shut up. I do reserve judgment sometimes, you know.

What I’m not reserving judgment on, is her militant anti-choice stance. She opposes the most basic right a woman has, which is dominion over her own body. Look, a few people have commented from time to time on my strictly pro-choice views. I’ll take this opportunity to state for the record that personally, I have no idea whether I would decide to have an abortion. What I do know, is I want to be the one who does the deciding.

So, here’s the McCain crux, as I see it:

Do the so-called evangelicals vote more enthusiastically for McCain, because he managed to partner with another staunch supporter of dogma over freedom?

Do blue-collar males vote less enthusiastically for McCain, because his running mate is a relatively inexperienced former beauty queen and sports announcer with a messy personal life that runs over into her politics?

One thing I know for sure, is that any former Hillary supporter who uses Palin as an excuse to vote for McCain is an idiot.

I take that back. A fucking idiot.

Remember Alan Keyes? He runs for president every couple of years. He’s the only black man I know whose score on the “caring about black people” scale is so low it rivals George W’s. What would you think of a black person who voted for Keyes, just because he was black, and they thought it was time to elect a black person?

You would think they’re stupid.