Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Did we learn nothing from Pee-Wee Herman?


Readers, you know I don't usually go for the quirky little news items, but in this case, I felt it was my duty to alert y'all to this one.

David Albert Lemus, who worked as a clown for children's birthday parties, and who was arrested for child molestation in 2005, has just been sentenced to 12 years in prison. At least three girls were victimized by him prior to his arrest, apparently he committed the crimes while he was in costume.

Holy fucking shit. As if it's not unpleasant enough to encounter a clown, with his Scope-over-Early Times breath and his yellow-ass teeth and his hasn't-been-dry-cleaned-since-'92 costume and his general aesthetic unpleasantness. Can you imagine what it's like for those girls, having the added burden of actual genuine psychological trauma triggered for the rest of their lives whenever they see one of those greasepainted vermin?

But readers, that is not the worst part. Oh, no.

The worst part, is that Lemus's "clown name," was Trim-Trim.

One small word of advice to all parents of clown-susceptible children out there: if the clown you're thinking of hiring for your child's birthday party is named after a slang word for genitalia, maybe you should just get a pony instead.

16 comments:

Dad E said...

My advice is not to make eye contact or encourage any response from them. If they appear at children's parties, take your child somewhere else. I can't quite put my finger on clowns, but they are twisted in some way, which I don't think is healthy. And oh, John Wayne Gacey.

Doc said...

Ewww. It's like you are filling in for Bubs while he is out with this kind of thing. Yuck!

Doc

Doc said...

Vikkitickitavi- Dear, I would love to draw you a cartoon! Is there anything special that you would like to have? I don't draw women that well, but I'd be glad to draw anything you'd like. Just leave me a comment here or on my blog and I'll whip it up in a day or two.

Doc

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

well, I just learned a new slang term!!

kirby said...

Trim Trim, wasn't that a character from the porno version of Speed Racer?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You are only the second person I have ever known to use "trim" as a slang for vagina.

dguzman said...

Am I the first, Monkey? I remember hearing it called "trim" in college (way back in the 80s).

So freakin' disturbing. Parents who support clowns in any way should be reported to Child Protective Services. It's the only way to be sure.

Michael said...

On my list, but not sure if it goes above or below RC priests.

Matt said...

I never got the whole clown phobia thing. I mean, I think their strange but... well I just don't get it. Clowns are kind of like mimes, their not scary, I would just rather not be around one.

Peace.

Matt

Spooney said...

Now I wanna see one of my favorite movies Shakes The Clown.

vikkitikkitavi said...

I didn't know "trim" was so exotic. Jeez you guys, you really should acquaint yourselves with the Melvin Van Peebles canon.

Grant Miller said...

Trim-Trim? I'd never heard it called that.

Spooney said...

Eddie Murphy says trim in 48 hrs when he gets out of the slammer he says "first thing I'm gonna' do is get myself some trim"

deadspot said...

Thanks, Vikki. Thanks for putting me back in therapy. I was molested by a pony wearing a clown costume.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Oh, that's okay, Doc, I don't act like a woman very well, either. How about just me sitting at my computer, writing a post? That would be super-cool.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Even sheltered old me has heard of it being called trim.

Now who's up for some Ho-hos?