Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I can teach you, but I have to charge


I have a suggestion regarding the current Wall Street investment crisis. And that is, that whenever the taxpayers are forced by politicians such as John “I was for deregulation before I was against it” McCain to bail out large companies whose collapse could threaten the American economy (an economy that was, if memory serves, “fundamentally sound” only last week), those same taxpayers should receive in return a vital and profitable company. So yeah, sure, we’ll take AIG off your hands, but we want Microsoft. Fine, give us Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, but we’ll be requiring ExxonMobil and Standard Oil in the bargain.

Although at this point, I’m ready to have government just take over the U.S. oil industry, Hugo Chavez-style. Because all those fucking companies pay crazy low rents on government land, harvest oil and natural gas, and then pay a royalty to us landlords that, while comprising a significant portion of our federal budget, might still be classified as, um, criminally inadequate. That is, when they pay us at all.

In other words, readers, U.S. oil companies drink our milkshake.

They drink it up.

Ditto their corporate brethren in the financial sector, who while insisting on their government cheese with one hand, are using the other to slap the wrists of homeowners who “were greedy” and “made bad decisions” regarding their mortgages. It seems that only the Fortune 500 is allowed to takes risks in the hope of a payoff. American homeowners are most definitely NOT allowed to buy on spec or aspire to turn around an asset in order to make a profit, because then they are irresponsible and ruining the economy. I mean, how dare they assume that mortgage companies, and the companies that buy mortgage-backed securities, would act in a fiscally responsible manner? Greedy fucking house-buying bastards.

What’s an honest, tax-paying American to do? It’s getting so bad up in this US of A mug, that I would move to Russia if I weren’t afraid that Sarah Palin would spy on me from her house.

14 comments:

Doc said...

Russia is just as bad dear. They are just more honest about their graft.

Doc

Dad E said...

Well for years we have been hearing the Republican party espouse the wonderful benefits of the "free" market and how smaller,unregulated government is the answer to maintain a strong America. The Bush administration put former business executives and lobbyists in charge of regulatory operations guaranteeing business interests were put first.

I would like to hear just one of them say, "gee maybe our ideology is wrong". And then maybe start acting like they care about people's who have to suffer when greed, indifference, and incompetence rule the land.

'Bubbles' said...

That was a funny conclusion. Ironic... I mean, what is going on in this country? I this a comedy show??

I found myself talking about civil liberties in the car today (to my daughter) and getting all upset.

Where will we go, vikki? Russia is out. Where else?

Cheer34 said...

we need to take to the streets with loud clear voices and let washington know we are tired of all this crap........we are heading to the path of destruction....self imploding....this is exactly what Osama Bin Laden wanted....finanical ruin of this country, which will lead to people being so down trodden that a majority will embrace extremism.....and we will destroy ourselves......Thanks to all those that voted for Bush the 1st time and then the 2nd time....

dguzman said...

They just drank our $700 million milkshake, Vik.

To Canada? Finland? The UK?

Lisa said...

"Prosperity is just around the corner." -- Herbert Hoover, 1932

Spooney said...

I hear Vancouver is nice.

Lisa said...

But, you know, it's like I said the second time Bush stole the election: you need to consider that perhaps the Canadians don't WANT us.

Dad E said...

If you are white,Austrialia, New Zealand or Ireland should be considered.

SkylersDad said...

I'm going to become a Viking. I always admired the headgear.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Whoa, color change?! Hey, do you want me to do a nice border for you?

vikkitikkitavi said...

Man, I just couldn't look at that black anymore.

Sure, make a border for me.

mcatgarrison said...

ugh. i bet it's hard being smart these days... best to be dumb... i hear.... sigh....

scottski said...

you're so poetic. the kung fu is strong with this one.

i sat at a card table in front of the grocery store, today, registering people to vote... no buttons, no partisan ID. it's amazing the difference between the Obama people (pleasant, enthusiastic) and the McGrumpy people (exactly the same).
if Po' Dunk Virginia has enthusiasm, of any kind... somethin's brewing.

and, yeah... There Will Be Blood made me more of an anti-oil radical than i was.