So Giuliani’s campaign took out an attack ad against Hilary Clinton in which he says “These times call for statesmanship, not politicians spewing political venom.”
It gets better.
In the ad, which seeks to create a non-existent alignment between Clinton and the left-wing political group MoveOn.org, Giuliani accuses the Democrats who questioned Petraeus of an “orchestrated attack.”
I’m not kidding.
In defending the ad, in which Giuliani characterizes
This shit is not from The Onion. I swear it is for real.
Meanwhile, I would just like to say to Clinton that telling General Petraeus that his progress report on the Iraq war required a “willing suspension of disbelief” is not really all that effective as a criticism. Because Americans ARE ALL ABOUT the willing suspension of disbelief, baby. C’mon, our politicians talk about tv characters like they’re for real. They’ve been doing it for years!
Not only that, but a significant portion of us actually buy into theories such as “fighting them over there, so we don’t have to fight them here,” as if, in defiance of our own use of the pronoun “them,” we actually thought there was only one of them, and that one was unable to move beyond certain geographical boundaries as long as we kept driving through the place in Humvees.
And to MoveOn.org, I would just like to say: stop it with the “General Betray Us.” Not because you shouldn’t malign a member of the armed forces, because I think they’re as fair game as the rest of us, and not because I think Petraeus is particularly steeped in integrity, because, seriously now, how can you have exactly the same optimistic assessment of Iraq three years ago that you have now and have it NOT be a pose, but because, well, it’s just a really bad pun. And I hate puns. I hate even good puns.
I take it back. There are no good puns.
Furthermore, if you really want to smack down the Petraeus, or any other military official who sells his soul to his commander-in-chief, may I suggest a different insult?
You could call it “pulling a Colin.”
I know. Ouch. But desperate times call for desperate measures.