Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It's too bad you don't have any gay friends. Because they would never let you out of the house in that underwear.


It’s official. Since Prop 22 was found by the courts to be unconstitutional, there will be an amendment to the CA constitution on the ballot in November that will make gay marriage illegal. The Mormon church is mobilizing its membership to make sure that it passes. What a huge fucking surprise, huh?

Mormons feel that gay marriage goes against their principles. To which I say, don’t be gay and get married, then. Exclude gay and married people from your church, if you want. That’s fine. You can even stick your fingers in your ears and go “la la la” and pretend the gays do not exist if it makes you feel any better. It’s your assholish prerogative, for sure. Why you’re at it, why don’t you “find” another one of those “plates” from that angel that I’m pretty sure is the patron saint of gourmet sausage stands. The plate could say “No faggots allowed” in some “language” only the top elder of the church can understand. Go nuts, Mormons. I mean, that’s what you’re good at, right?

15 comments:

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

The "garment" looks really uncomfortable. Plus, the overly-generous codpiece only makes that guy look, well...OK, you ain't foolin' nobody.

Some Guy said...

C'mon, California. Please don't fuckin' cave on this!

I think a great counter-campaign could be a series of very simple ads saying things like "Hey Californians. Seriously? We're gonna let a bunch of fuckin' Mormons tell us what to do?" For any Mormon readers, I know this is harsh, but I've had about all I can take from you people and your bigotry. And as for the Mormons of conscience who don't agree with this policy, where are you? Stand up and be recognized.

Dad E said...

Do they have a wet underwear contest for Mormons?

Coaster Punchman said...

Arrrrgh. Yes, Chris, I know a few nice Mormons myself and I'm about ready to bitchslap a few of them for not making noise to their leaders.

Thanks for posting, Vikki.

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

Preach it, sistah!! While we're at it, let's bring out those old bumper stickers and buttons that say "if you are opposed to abortion, don't have one."

Shouldn't these people befeeding the poor and clothing the naked and recognizing Christ "in the least of us"? I think I remember reading that somewhere...

GETkristiLOVE said...

By all means Mormons, stick to marrying your 13-year-old niece and force her to have sex with you, that makes a lot more sense than gay marriage.

dguzman said...

I'm currently reading Under the Banner of Heaven, about some Mormon nutjobs that murder their sister-in-law and her child because they say God told them to. The book goes into detail about the complete wacko-farce that is Mormonism, and let me tell ya: anyone who goes along with ANYTHING those nuts believes is a complete moron too.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Randy: I've noticed that none of the actors in "Big Love" are ever seen wearing the Mormon magic underwear. Probably because it would cast a pall over the sex scenes.

SomeG: "For any Mormon readers"? Of my blog? I wish!

DadE: That is a very funny comment and I am jealous that I didn't think of it.

CPunch: I'm pretty sure that under Mormon law, the penalty for criticizing church leadership is death by covered wagon, or something.

Capt. EJ: Although I'm militantly pro-choice, I can at least understand why people oppose abortion, although I think they're wrong. This though, is just nonsense, and I can't believe the press gives it legitimacy and calls it "religious liberty."

GKL: Well, when you base your religion upon the thinking of a horny 19th century bigoted crackpot...then there's a good chance that underage nieces are going to figure prominently.

DGuz: I read that book. Absolutely fucking stunning and completely shocking. Odd how there's been no movie deal yet. You don't think the church leadership has quashed it, do you?

SkylersDad said...

You mean that isn't sexy wear? Excuse me a moment, I have to go throw some things out...

Mnmom said...

With you 100%. Against gay marriage? Exactly, then don't be gay and get married. Ban them from your church? Fine. But stay the HELL out of everyone else's rights, OK?

kirby said...

That gourmet sausage could use some super supportive Mormon underwear.

Doc said...

I'll have you know, I honestly own three pairs of these underwear, only mine are red.

You know, they are sexier that way.

And yes, Their load of crap is delivered by Conestoga full.

Doc

Johnny Yen said...

Maybe they just aren't clear on it-- maybe someone can explain to them that it doesn't mean that they will have to have a gay marriage.

Distributorcap said...

this is why i loathe organized religion......

as for mormons........ it wasnt too long ago they had a problem with blacks....

. said...

Y'know...

the only reasons why I am against "Gay Marriage" as an equivalence to "Regualr Marriage" is one thing:

Now divorce Lawyers have even MORE avenues to ply their craft and tie up the courts further.

It was bad enough that 50% of STRAIGHT marriages were going south. Now gay marriages have a chance to go the same way.

Adam finding out that he has to pay alimony to steve. and CHild support?!?

Except for having to setup a living will, or making EXTRA procedures for who are allowed to visit you in the hospital, or having to go and make special arrrangements for survivorship benefits to be passed onto children, and barring OTHER social problems (which we know are mind- numbingly HUGE) gay couples at least, if they break it off, can at least keep their stuff.

Now....in an AT-FAULT( if memory serves)state with the pressure to get hitched (with STATE permanence) increased,
now even that is in jeopardy....

Supposed Adam loves Steve, and marries him, and well, Steve is secretly in it for the money....and decides, while picking drapes to hang over the valance, that Adam's taste in color of drapes is just horrendous, and determines through whatever method using the "bad taste" in drapes, as a starting-point basis, that they are incompatible, and Steve wants to spell relief D-I-V-O-R-C-E (as well as D-E-S-I-T-I-N)

And if some squirrely judge gets his way....Adam's gay bliss turns into his nightmare...and steve laughs all the way to the bank.

No wonder smart gay people were praying to minerva (the goddess on the great seal of California) for lightning strikes and forest fires....the straight people who supported gay marriage said "OK Gay people you want THIS...(heh heh) here ya go!" and the smart gay people wanted California to burn up as a way to cover up their mistake...They gypped themselves out of what they had, to what they thought they needed for respect and ruined both.....