But soft, what shorts from yonder online catalogue breaks?
Why verily, it be these voluminous pantaloons from Urban Outfitters!
I vouchsafe that if thou dost yearn to make thy loins look like two mighty capons that battle within in a burlap sack, then shop no more, I pray you. Thou hast found the shorts that would be thine.
Even the most lean amongst you shall look like a very collosus when adorned with this great cunning swath of fabric.
And at $48, they are too cheap by half. Do not hesitate a moment more, but navigate they way toward this merchant's shining beacon of commerce.