Friday, May 09, 2008

And HBO still owes me one for Arliss

Ooooh, is the Miami Herald getting its panties in a bunch over the upcoming HBO movie about the 2000 Florida recount?

In a story called “Hollywood puts a spin on 2000 recount,” the MH says that those politicos who were actually involved in that clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks are “expecting as much Hollywood spin as political fact.”

Wow, the MH likes the word “spin.” Perhaps they really haven’t let go of the 90s.

They go on to quote Mac Stipanovich, a former advisor to Katherine “Clownface” Harris, as saying “They won't be able to resist overdoing it because of Katherine Harris and because the way it usually happens is not the way it usually looks in the movies.”

Nice quote, Mac. You know, usually you have to go to a lawn jockey clearance sale for such keen political and cultural insight.

But where’s the MH’s evidence that Hollywood is, in fact, spinning?

This is, I’m afraid, as much as they could muster:

A good example of the Hollywood-ization: Actress Laura Dern, playing Harris, appeared in pancake makeup and what appeared to be an over-stuffed bra while riding a horse, in a replay of Harris' famed rodeo appearance when she ran for Congress -- two years after the recount.

Oh, dear. Miami Herald, this is, as my mom used to say, going to hurt me as much as it does you.

First of all, here is a photo of Laura Dern playing Katherine Harris:

And here’s the real deal:

Now, exactly how is Dern’s bra overstuffed? How exactly is her makeup too heavy? If anything, Harris should be overjoyed that she's being played by someone, um, attractive. Don't get me wrong, Harris has got a body like the proverbial brick shithouse, but she's one of those gals that my college roommates used to joke was a better fuck with a bag over her head.

C'mon. I am not being that mean. Take another look:

I have two words: blue eyeshadow. Blue motherfucking eyeshadow, readers. Do not even try to defend the heinousness of lid-to-brow pastel blue eyeshadow. Do. Not.

But more importantly, since the MH means to call out HBO on a historical point, the banner on Dern’s horse clearly indicates that the scene is taking place not during the recount, but during Harris’s subsequent congressional campaign/term.

I don’t know about you, but I think the Miami Herald owes HBO an apology.


Anonymous said...

I say do what ever it takes to lure crazy Katie back into the spotlight. That's just comedy gold right there.

Splotchy said...

It's Arli$$, you ignorant fool!!

Bro said...

Laura Dern is hot., She reminds me of an old friend.

dguzman said...

If anything, I'm sure the "spin" will be in FAVOR of the lying sons of bitches, if casting Laura Dern as that batshit-crazy freak Katherine Harris is any indication. They should be relieved down there in Cheater's Cove, USA.

Grant Miller said...

This is the hottest post I've ever read.

Thank you.

Bubs said...

Katherine Harris has no right to beef--I mean, at least she's being portrayed by an actress and not a tranny.