Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Eat of this lemon raspberry cake with buttercream frosting, for it be my body. Drink of this Mumm's champagne, for it be my blood.

You know, I’m kinda feeling for Jenna Bush. She tries so hard, y’all! First of all, she overcame her party girl image and let the world know that she does, you know, think about poor people and stuff.

Then, she chose a nice Republican boy to marry. One that, since he started out as an intern to Karl Rove, should know how to keep it mum about her daddy’s secret drinking.

And what does she get in return? A cheap-ass Texas wedding on her family’s pretend ranch.

Not only that, but her daddy builds his own permanent, giant monument to his love for Jesus, and makes her get married right in front of it.

Yeah, how would you like to spend your entire wedding ceremony being reminded that Jesus died for your registry?

He died for your Cuisinart, and he died for your Lalique crystal, and he most especially died for your 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, which are to die for.

12 comments:

Spooney said...

It would have been so much cooler if she married Sammy Hagar! Instead of lemon rasberry cake & Mumms, there'd be Cabo Wabo & hash brownies!

Matt said...

I also thought this was way over done. Hell, I'm catholic and I think that is over the top. It has to be horrible to know that you don't get a say in your own wedding. Some PR guy walks in and says, "Jenna, this is that your wedding is going to be like because this has to be political statement and a wedding. But mostly a political statement."

Of course, then she doesn't end up on Bridezilla. So I guess it evens out.

Matt

Cheer34 said...

800 thread count sheets...I'd get married in front of that cross for those sheets

Larry Jones said...

The best part of this for me is that she is looking like she won't be running for president in 2016. Because you know she would win, and by that time Karl Rove would be an Elder Statesman who'd deserve a cabinet-level post.

SkylersDad said...

Damn, I guess that just leaves the other twin out on the prowl, lookin for love!

Bubs said...

Why do you hate America?

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

As lifted from Some Guy's Blog:

"We are still waiting to see the pictures of Dick Cheney doing the Chickenhawk Dance at the reception."

kiki said...

at least they had wheelchair access!

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I don't think he *made* her get married in front of it. I think the whole klan drank the kool-aid long ago.

Grant Miller said...

The pictures all made it look very dowdy. But I suspect that's just what they're showing the public.

dguzman said...

Wow, right there under the spider-filled mesquite tree in the Texas heat and humidity, in front of Daddy's moment to his own hypocrisy. Just like every little girl's dream come true.

Bro said...

Is this the one that said her way of serving the country in time of war was to be a teacher?