Former NSA director under Reagan says get the fuck out of Iraq

Retired Lt. Gen. William Odom refutes the popular arguments of why we can't withdraw, and makes a compelling case for why we must.

From ForeignPolicy.com:

Two facts, however painful, must be recognized, or we will remain perilously confused in Iraq. First, invading Iraq was not in the interests of the United States. It was in the interests of Iran and al Qaeda. For Iran, it avenged a grudge against Saddam for his invasion of the country in 1980. For al Qaeda, it made it easier to kill Americans. Second, the war has paralyzed the United States in the world diplomatically and strategically. Although relations with Europe show signs of marginal improvement, the trans-Atlantic alliance still may not survive the war. Only with a rapid withdrawal from Iraq will Washington regain diplomatic and military mobility. Tied down like Gulliver in the sands of Mesopotamia, we simply cannot attract the diplomatic and military cooperation necessary to win the real battle against terror. Getting out of Iraq is the precondition for any improvement.

In fact, getting out now may be our only chance to set things right in Iraq. For starters, if we withdraw, European politicians would be more likely to cooperate with us in a strategy for stabilizing the greater Middle East. Following a withdrawal, all the countries bordering Iraq would likely respond favorably to an offer to help stabilize the situation. The most important of these would be Iran. It dislikes al Qaeda as much as we do. It wants regional stability as much as we do. It wants to produce more oil and gas and sell it. If its leaders really want nuclear weapons, we cannot stop them. But we can engage them.

None of these prospects is possible unless we stop moving deeper into the “big sandy” of Iraq. America must withdraw now.

Freud called. He wants his prom theme back.

The Father-Daughter Purity Ball? Are you fucking kidding me?

Via Broadsheet:

One of the most memorable highlights of the ball is when the fathers stand in the middle of the ballroom and form a circle around their daughters standing all aglow in their lovely ball gowns. The fathers place their hands on their daughters, and together we pray for purity of mind, body, and soul for generations to come.

I hear that the "varification of the intact hymen" ritual is very moving as well.

Seriously, that description sounds like a bad dream I had once. Only in my dream my dad gave me a cigar, and then we rode a train through a tunnel. And then my mom drowned me in her swimming pool.

But if I did, it would cost more than a hundred bucks, okay?

What's with Colin Powell suddenly speaking up about his misgivings on Iraq? Do you get the feeling someone might be testing the waters for '08?

He could run on a "Too little, too late" platform.

And speaking of '08, there's another big sloppy valentine to McCain in today's WaPo.

Just the other day, a friend of mine, who is a Democrat, was extolling the virtues of McCain. Jebus, I do not get why this guy appeals to Democrats. So many Dems loooooooove this ass-kisser. Is it because they identify with someone who has 1) compromised his most basic values, or 2) been sucker-punched by BushCo?

Dems, listen up. McCain does not care about you. He does not share your ideals. Look, don't believe me, listen to the man himself:

[McCain} says liberals need to understand that he's not a man of the left, or even the center. "I haven't changed. My record is the same on all issues, which is that of a conservative Republican. Not a liberal Republican, not a moderate Republican."

The WaPo article is called "A Man Who Won't Sell His Soul."

Next week they should do an article about me called "A Woman Who Won't Sell Her Virginity."

What I'm hearing is that you feel you'd like to quit your jibber-jabber

This fall, TVLand will be offering a Dr. Phil-style advice show starring Mr. T.

Mr. T offers a preview of his wisdom:

"You're a fool - that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if you don't take my advice."

I may be cheap, but...

...you can't buy me for 100 dollars, baby.

¡Hoy marchamos, mañana votamos!

Nearly half a million people marched in Los Angeles yesterday.

Holy shit!

And then there were these geniuses:

I'd make some snotty comment about that woman's sign, but it's not nice to make fun of retarded people.

Must-slit-your-wrists TV

I wish I'd known they were filming a Dynasty reunion show. I would have bought stock in Vaseline.

Sweet Caroline!

I'm going to be in Boston in June to meet Spooney's parents, and I need some BoSox tickets, y'all.

The June 19 game against the Nationals. It's sold out.

Hook me up someone, please. Don't make me go to ticketliquidator.com

Megamerican!

Thanks to the Official Grant Miller, who has posted the site where you may go and thank Stephen Colbert for speaking irony to power.

A god among men

The best link I have found so far to Stephen Colbert's performance at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner is on Video Dog. You have to sign in for a day pass, but it's free.

You must see this. Watch the grown men and women of our press looking at each other like "Is he allowed to say that? Are we allowed to laugh?"

After his opening remarks, the "Audition" sketch and Colbert's semi-courteous dismissal from the podium by the W and Laura is here.

A piece in the Valley

Encino is one of the more insufferable communities in the San Fernando Valley.

Sherman Oaks is semi-swanky. Hey, they're only barely in the Valley. And it's sorta like they're the Hollywood Hills, right? Seven years ago, when the whole Shabby Chic thing hit, you couldn't stop at a light in Sherman Oaks for fear that your car would be coated with whitewash and distressed with sandpaper and sold to some associate producer's wife as a day bed for their guest room.

And Van Nuys is kind of an armpit but is trying really really hard not to be, although its hot, flat, relentless treeless concrete geography is pretty tough to gussy up. Van Nuys is the vast workhorse of the LA burbs, and everyone who has ever lived in this city pretty much ends up spending some time there, usually camped out on some former college roommate's couch, waiting for a call. Van Nuys is the kind of place where the sidewalks are clean and the streets are sunny, but inside the houses people are committing suicide with pills.

Then there's North Hollywood. North Hollywood, which is not really anywhere near Hollywood, but whose name reflects the wistful dreams of some long-dead real estate developer. Ah, North Hollywood, the place I call home. NoHo has been trying to sell itself as an "arts & theatre district" for about 15 years now, and the neighborhood board swears that someday this idea will stop getting huge laughs in the LA city council. Those of us who live in North Hollywood are well aware that we are the butt of many Valley-based jokes, but I, for one, don't mind living someplace that isn't "cool." In fact, it's kind of a relief. But for many, the shame of living in one of the few neighborhoods in LA with "affordable" real estate has moved them to gather the signatures of other nearby residents and portion themselves off from us and brand themselves as "Valley Village," or "Toluca Woods." Shame on them. They are dead to us now.

But back to Encino, where the size of the SUV is inversely proportionate to the size of the wife driving it. Encino, where each and every driver on the road is a huge, huge asshole, and every customer in the store wants a discount on their $500 jeans, and every diner in the restaurant is pretty sure they're important. I never enter Encino without a really good reason, and I never leave Encino without swearing that I will never go back. People live in Encino because they can't afford Beverly Hills, and boy oh boy do they make you suffer for it.

So according to this article in today's LA Times, some residents of Encino are really upset that...and this is pretty shocking...that pornography is being filmed in their neighborhood! And on Easter, of all days!

Look Encino, baby, I know it's rough your first time. Believe me, I been there. The grip trucks, the cables, the tattooed Teamster wannabes; it's all very tough to take. And it's hard, I know, not to think about what's going on behind all those closed doors, especially as your nannies push your children's strollers past scantily-clad "actresses" disembarking from their Corvettes, but speaking as a resident of North Hollywood, let me give you this little piece of advice:

Lay back Encino, and enjoy the ride.

I had a horrible nightmare last night

I dreamt there was 2 of them. Yeah, 2. I know.


And they were standing up in front of a room full of press and reporters, joking about how "stupid" and "out of touch" and "unpopular" and "stupid" they are.

And the press ate it up. Just like always.

But then, anyone who doesn't like the president is a whackjob, really.

Johnny Damon, how I loved you...

It's wicked ovah, ya traitor bastard.

This is a hoax

Right?

I mean, come on.

On the occasion of $3.19 a gallon

The president says that he's against "manipulation."

Concerning the price of gasoline, that is.

And yet, the former oilman, and son and friend of other oilmen, as he's assuring the American people that he's really, truly going to take an good, deep look at oil company profits, honestly, he is, he can't resist also taking advantage of the opportunity to suspend provisions of the Clean Air Act.

Wait. That didn't surprise you, did it?

Oh, and also taking a swipe at "boutique fuels," a cleverly-named term for the various grades of fuel required by state and local governments in order to decrease auto emissions.

Here in California, emissions are a problem. I'm pretty sure other people in the world are concerned about it too.

So is our irrational demand for clean air the thing that's driving prices upward? Or could it be this? Or this? Or this?

Da Vinci say what?

I cannot take any more news stories like this one. This is not cute anymore.

The book was crap, people!

Warmed-over goddessy putrid crap!

Oh sure, it was a page-turner. But the prose! Aaaaaeeegahhhh!

It was so bad it hurt my eyes to read it!

But it was on the best seller list for blah blah weeks you say, and besides everyone in the country has read this book and LOVED it! How can you be such a elitist snob?

How? Because I was burned before. Burned real bad.

I guess Charlie definitely did NOT want a free personality test

What? Charlie Sheen once shot Kelly Preston? Like with a gun? What?

Nothing like a celebrity divorce to dish up some buried dirt.

I smell a Grammy!

Snoop Dog won't be disrespected by the man. Especially not when he works for British Airways, yo.

Snoop and his 30-man posse (hey, those pimp chalises are heavy, okay?) busted up a duty-free shop and battled with the police after those members of his entourage who did not posess first-class tickets were denied entry to the British Airways first-class lounge.

Display cases were smashed, and bottles of duty-free liquor were thrown at waiting airline passengers. Snoop and 5 others were arrested and later released on bail.

During the fracas, one of those arrested was heard to exclaim "This is how it goes down in LA."

I heard that, brother.

Who would have thought Bush would be the one to blow the lid off the whole "fair and balanced" deal?

NYT:

While making the much anticipated announcement that Mr. Snow would be his spokesman, Mr. Bush acknowledged that "he sometimes has disagreed with me," a reference to recent columns Mr. Snow has written calling Mr. Bush's domestic policy "lackluster" and the president "something of an embarrassment" to his conservative backers.

"I asked him about those comments," Mr. Bush said in the White House briefing room, "and he said, 'You should have heard what I said about the other guy.' "

Since "Live Free or Die" is already taken

I'm with JackJo, I think The Petri Dish of Corruption State would make a great license plate motto for Illinois.