Wednesday, February 07, 2007

In other breaking news: hot dogs look like wieners

Some critics and bloggers, who are apparently easily upset, and perhaps missing all the attention they got over the whole Nipplegate thing, are complaining to the FCC that during the most recent Superbowl halftime show, Prince "intentionally used his guitar as an inappropriate phallic symbol."

Well, duh.

But what I want to know is, who are these naïve fucktards?

And how is it…

that they’ve survived

into adulthood

without figuring out

that your guitar

IS your dick?

Even my normally modest Spooney has been known to make the “O” face when he rocks it out.

Seriously, if you picture me in place of the guitar in the above photo, you pretty much know what we look like when we have sex.

Sorry, Spooney.

16 comments:

MonstrousJoe said...

According to some of the gals I was watching the SB with, the Prince guitar really got them curious in regards to the whole 'double prong' er, probe...

Johnny Yen said...

Yeah, and who'd have imagined Prince doing something sexual. That was a first.

PK said...

Cool. Now I can get my hidden camera out of your bedroom...

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

Geez, I hope he treats you nicer than his guitar. Unless, of course, you're into that sorta thing.

And now whenever I see him during rehearsal, I'll have the image of him having sex forever etched into my mind. Thanks for the image. I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna deal with that.

michael said...

Geez. Making blog fodder out of your man's O-face? Talk about swinging a big guitar...

Grant Miller said...

I play a ukulele. What does that say about me?

Larry Jones said...

Get ready for Pat Boone to headline halftime next year at Superbowl 42. That'll put an end to all this naughty shit.

Skylers Dad said...

They will probably find some lame country act for next year, kinda all American red blooded songs about trucks and dogs and gettin outta prison and such

kiki said...

shouldn't they complain about more important things first?

like, i don't know... the un-winnable invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan

and for god's sake, bring david hicks home!

Megan said...

Wait. You and Spooney have sex? But you're not married. I'm confused.

vikkitikkitavi said...

MJoe: Prince's guitar got them curious? What were they, like, twelve?

JohnnyY: I think they thought that because he became a Jehovah's witness and started changing all the lyrics to Darling Nikki that he was a safe bet. I guess they were wrong.

PK: Cool. And I can stop pretending I didn't know it was there.

Randy: Dude, settle down, it's not like he's your dad or something.

Michael: That's the great thing about Spooney. It would never occur to him to be upset about something like that.

Grant: Tiny Bubbles.

Larry: Have you ever heard Pat Boone's cover of Metallica's "Enter Sandman"? Now that's fucking scary.

SkyDad: Let's start a pool. I call John Mellencamp.

Kiki: I know you're Australian, but for chrissakes keep your left and right straight. WE complain about the wars and the dying and the political prisoners, THEY complain about naked titties and Bono saying "fuck" on the Grammys. Got it?

Megan: Right. We're not married. Which is why we're still having sex.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Hey! I heard that - no way would Mellencamp stoop so low.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Kristi: Oh, really? Because he'll shill for Chevy Trucks, but he's too good for the Superbowl?

GETkristiLOVE said...

I saw Mellencamp in Paris in 1986 (wow, that's 20 years ago) and he made fun of musicians that sold out to the commercials - particularly Marvin Gaye (dancing grapes for GrapeNuts, was it?).

For that reason, I'm disappointed he sold to Chevy, but still... the superbowl would be ten times worse in my book.

kiki said...

yeah, i get it. it's so much easier here (because i've been around it my whole life). thanks VK

david said...

And that other curvy thing would be, what... his one pubic hair?