Monday, October 27, 2008

Palin says Obama palling around with terriers

I’m sorry, but it’s so hard to take this shit seriously – except in how it could cause idiots absent the sense god gave a chicken to vote for McCain.

But you know what, readers? It doesn’t sway anyone. It only gives people an excuse to do what they were going to do anyway. Serious voters don’t think Obama’s a socialist, because serious voters know how the freakin tax system works (hint: it redistributes wealth). They don’t think Obama’s secretly a terrorist, or hiding a “muslin” agenda. But they might use those stories to rationalize voting against him.

Why would they have to rationalize their decision? Why not just simply state their motivations?

Good question.

Enter Joe the Plumber. Yeah, I know, we’re all sick of hearing about the guy. But stay with me, because I so know that guy. I grew up with that guy. I got a couple of uncles who are that guy.

The guy’s a racist. And he sees Mr. Hotshot Obama shaking hands with voters, acting like he’s so much better than everyone else, and Joe decides he’s gonna take that boy down a peg or two. So he makes up a scenario that he’s gonna use to try and make Mr. Smartypants looks stupid in front of the cameras. He decides to say that he’s a plumber – which he’s technically not. And that he’s intending to buy the company that he currently works for – which he is not even close to being able to do. And that the company that he would then own would make more than a quarter of a million dollars a year – which it does not currently make. And that he would then have his taxes raised by Obama’s tax plan – for an income he doesn’t have owning something he doesn’t own doing something he doesn’t do.

I know, he’s got McCain campaign centerpiece written all over him!

Sweet fucking Jesus, I know that guy. They spin impossible webs of justification rather than face the realities of their own lives. Hey, you, Joe the Plumber, yeah, you - the guy who doesn’t want to pay his taxes! You do not make 250k. Obama will cut your taxes! Hear me? He will cut your taxes! Isn’t that what you want? Isn’t it?

So why the attempted take-down on Obama, then? Why the façade, the fairy tale, the big act?

Good question.

I don’t believe in the Bradley effect, but I believe that the Republicans profit from us believing in it. They want to sell the scenario wherein Obama’s lead evaporates for reasons other than their own manipulations. They want us to believe that there are legions of racists out there that are lying about voting for Obama because they don’t want people to know they’re racists. Because then when Democrats are wiped from voting rolls, which they have been, and when Democratic precincts are given defective machines and not enough personnel, which they have been, and when Democrats are kept from voting by election day mischief, the Republicans can point and say see? Bradley effect. Too bad those darn racists led y’all to believe you could win.

But let me tell you, readers, some of my best friends are bigots, and bigots do not say they are going to vote for Obama and then vote for McCain. Here’s what they will do:

Say they’re going to vote for McCain and then not vote.

Say they’re going to vote for McCain but lie about why.

Say they’re going to vote for McCain but then secretly vote for Obama because they think he’ll cut their taxes.

What bigots don’t do, is SAY THEY’RE VOTING FOR A BLACK GUY.


Dad E said...

Good analysis! Your uncles taught you well about revelling in ignorance.

Anonymous said...

Sigh. I had/have those same uncles. What would we do without the family we make for ourselves?

Distributorcap said...

at first i thought you were channeling your best emily litella based on the title

what this about terriers

and i think he is holding a poodle or bijon or some other dog 8-)

great great post

Doc said...

Your uncles, my neighbors.

You really know how to cut through the crap don't you.


mary catherine said...

vikki--will you marry me?


someone who need a bullshit cutter-througher

frogboots said...

i hope your job pays you well, and gives you vast degrees of power, because you surely deserve it.

I also know those uncles, or plumbers, or whoever the heck they are. and you're right: they invent all kinds of wacky scenarios to justify their lame-ass, ill-informed prejudices.

and you're right again: bigots don't say "I'm voting for the Black guy"

ps. LOVE that bit about the "muslin" agenda. muslin. my god. sometimes i think the old Founding Fathers were right to fear the stupidity of the general electorate.

dguzman said...

Can I get an AMEN!?

And hey, Mary Catherine, you'll have to wait in line, because I've got dibs on Vik. And her sister GKL too. In case they ever switch teams. And leave their wonderful guys. So there.

Bubs said...

Well put! Have you seen any of the stories about canvassers getting the "we're voting for the n*****" response from white voters. There's a couple of them I've seen on and daily kos. People that are bigots, and feel perfectly comfortable referring to someone with a racial slur, but are still voting according to economic self interest.

Grant Miller said...

I'm doing my best to remain pessimistic about this election. I swear, if my guy loses, I may in a serious funk for the next four years.

And no one wants to see me in a funk. No one.

kiki said...

did you see that Obama would win if the vote was counted in every other country? he'd win hands down everywhere except Georgia...

i wish i could vote

Anonymous said...

Vikki, I am gonna talk to MSNBC studios tomorrow to see if I can get you a 5 minute segment on Rachael Maddow show, which would then of course lead to your own one hour show every night at 10 pm right after Rach! all via sattelite so you dont have to leave your cool ass house! please blog every day! marshall

Madam Z said...

You are sooooooo good!

SFNative said...

I'm married already so I won't ask.

Wouldn't ask.

Couldn't ask.

Bill Stankus said...

Palling around with terriers - Good one!

Megan said...

You are brilliant. But you already knew that.