Thursday, November 16, 2006

Just wait 'til he goes on Fox

When JFK ran for president, a lot of people were afraid that as a Catholic, he would face a conflict of interest. They said he would be bound to do the bidding of the Pope, even if it went against the best interests of the United States.

Ho, ho, ho, you say. How fucking quaint. What a droll and primitive time, was this "1960" of which you speak.

Look how far we've come, you say. John Kerry proved in 2004 that not only were we not concerned about his loyalty to the Pope, we were actually amused as he was practically excommunicated from the Catholic church for having a mind of his own!

But those were Catholics. And Catholics, my friends, are not Muslims. Sure, they both do the long robe thing, and they both share a fondness for incense and fucking little boys, but theologically speaking they are WORLDS apart. See, Catholics believe in a kind of punitive father-figure-type god, who sent a prophet to earth to solve the great-great-great granddaddy of middle east crises (he failed), whereas Muslims believe in a REALLY punitive father-figure-type god who...ah, well, yadda, yadda, yadda, right?

There are important differences. For example, Catholic women are fighting to be allowed to be ordained as priests, and are opposed by church officials who contend that because they do not have a penis, they do not "resemble Jesus," which apparently is one of the main job requirements.* Whereas, Muslim women are fighting to be allowed to look at things with their eyes, so their struggle for equality is not quite as far along.

But I digress. My point was, that we think we are soooooo far above that kind of bigoted, primitive thinking about a group of people belonging to a religious sect. And for sure we are. We so are.

But CNN isn't:
GLENN BECK (CNN HEADLINE NEWS): History was made last Tuesday when Democrat Keith Ellison got elected to Congress, representing the great state of Minnesota. Well, not really unusual that Minnesota would elect a Democrat. What is noteworthy is that Keith is the first Muslim in history to be elected to the House of Representatives. He joins us now.

Congratulations, sir.

ELLISON: How you doing, Glenn? Glad to be here.

BECK: Thank you. I will tell you, may I -- may we have five minutes here where we're just politically incorrect and I play the cards face up on the table?

ELLISON: Go there.

BECK: OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I've been to mosques. I really don't believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I -- you know, I think it's being hijacked, quite frankly.

With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, "Let's cut and run." And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, "Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies."

And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way.

ELLISON: Well, let me tell you, the people of the Fifth Congressional District know that I have a deep love and affection for my country. There's no one who is more patriotic than I am. And so, you know, I don't need to -- need to prove my patriotic stripes.

You don't need to prove your patriotism?

How could the voters of Minnesota elect someone so completely unfamiliar with how Democratic politics works?


*You'd think recent events would have prompted them to rethink the whole penis emphasis, but they are so far sticking to their guns, so to speak.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

jesus-that's...that's...just unfuckingbelievable-there seems so little to be proud of it stuns me that he would respond at all much less with how patriotic he feels he is...maybe the only thing we can be proud of in is the fact that we can laugh at our worst selves...borat is #1 after all...jen

kiki said...

oh my god you're an ignorant racist

you can't seriously believe this guy is going to side with 'terrorists' or something??

he's american! so what if he's a muslim. how does it matter?
would it make a difference if he was catholic? or buddhist? or gay?

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

I love how CNN will edit out Bill Maher outing RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman on Larry King Live, but will continue to let such condescending/bigoted interviews remain on air.

MonstrousJoe said...

I'm hungry.

Grant Miller said...

CNN is so liberal.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Anon-Jen: Jon Stewart last night put it so brilliantly when he said that Beck tells what the people who don't think are thinking.

Kiki: I'm pretty sure you're calling Beck a racist, and not me, but I can never be sure with you furries.

Randy: Well, Bill Maher loves the terrorists. Everyone knows that.

MJoe: Touche, sir. I've been non-sequitered.

Grant: Hey, cutie! You look years younger suddenly.

Megan said...

Damn liberal media.

Why did he even ANSWER that question?!