Monday, November 27, 2006

The war on Christmas wreaths

Residents of a small town in southwestern Colorado are demanding that someone be called to account.

Parents of soldiers in Iraq are said to be upset.

Other residents fear that the devil may be in their midst.

The culprit:

The woman who hung this wreath on her home may be facing fines from the local homeowner’s association, which has rules against posting signs with messages. She defended her invocation of the peace symbol as being “a spiritual thing,” and not political.

You know what? If some collection of rural wingnuts wants to be nationally known as the stupidest goddamn retards this side of the Mississippi, that’s fine with me.

But first of all, can we all just remember this crazy-ass shit the next time some lefties get all hot and bothered about some fucking manger on a courthouse lawn? Can we?

And secondly, can someone make sure that Bill O’Fuckface gets a copy of the story, so he can decry that homeowner’s association for waging a war on Christmas wreaths?

And thirdly...Satan? Really, Satan? Are you sure you want to hang your hat on that old chestnut? Because if you get worked up and fearful at things like that, you tired-ass fucked-up Christian-y hacks, then I don't even know how you make it out of the house to SEE your poor neighbor's harmless little wreath, which, if it were up to me, would be banned not for being political but for being the wrong size for the scale of the house, and for having bad ribbon placement.

But hey, merry fucking Christmas to the Loma Linda Homeowner's Association. I would wish you peace on earth, but I don't want to upset you any more than you obviously are.


mixednut said...

I read the article and things like this just really piss me off.
That Bob Kearns guy sounds like a real assclown to me.

Anonymous said...

oh, satan is always up to his old tricks, forcing his devoted worhsippers to make wreaths in the shape of peace signs and hang them in highly visible places in good neighborhoods.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Mixednut: If fact, if you look up "assclown" in the dictionary...

MBP: My old Granny used to say that 50 ft. UL outdoor rated extension cords are the devil's playthings.

kiki said...

it's a real shame that no matter where you are in the world, there's a good chance, if you look hard enough, that you will find people like this

GETkristiLOVE said...

I'm going to have a blue-nosed reindeer out front this year. I think that will get my point across.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about all the political shit, but I'm soooo with you on the scale thing! And the bow, well, duh! I mean, watch some Martha for God sake. *Then* make your statement with style and taste! Presentation is everything. ;-)

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

To call that thing a protest message is a stretch, but can anyone explain to me how anybody can see it as a Satanic symbol?


Pops said...

Phew! You said "Loma Linda" and I thought you meant the Loma Linda over in San Bernardino County. You know, the one with the hospital you'll need if your kid with cancer gets bit by a snake. Good place, that.

It's bad enough we have to deal with the fact that we HAVE a San Bernardino County without this craziness. Colorado, I thank you.

Spooney said...

Fucking retards

GETkristiLOVE said...

pops - We don't claim Pagosa Springs as being actually in Colorado, so don't thank us.

Johnny Yen said...

Good lord-- he fired them for not voting the way he wanted them to? Is he related to Nixon?

But hey-- peace is pretty offensive.

BTW, I talked last night last night to one of my oldest, closest friends, who just spent a year in Iraq. They're sending him back next year. He and the other guys there are very pro-peace. They would not find the shape of the wreath offensive at all. He lost friends there, and is not sure what the hell they died for. He and the other guys there want this fucking war to end.

dad said...

others claim the symbol represents an upside-down cross with broken arms and is therefore anti-Christian or Satanic.

Jess said...

Yeah, I totally don't get the "Satan" thing at all. Also, why is a peace sign so wrong? I really really don't get it. Why is it wrong for people to want no war and for everyone to get along with everyone else?

Why is it OK to hang a cross with a dead person on it? Now THAT'S creepy! I get why people have pictures of Jesus in their houses looking angelic or even the whole nativity thing... at least it's symbolizing life. But a dead guy on a cross?!

vikkitikkitavi said...

Kiki: Or even if you don't look hard.

Kristi: Sure, now that your state went blue you get all brave with the Christmas decorations.

Anon: Martha would not be happy about that visible extension cord, either.

Randy: Follow the "that old chestnut" link for pretty much all you want to know about that whole deal.

Pops: People who live in Riverside County shouldn't throw stones.

Johnny Yen: A friend of mine helped finance a great doc called "The Ground Truth" which is out now on DVD. Check it out for more on that subject.

Dad: I claim it is a chicken foot about to be caught in a lasso and is therefore anti-poultry.

Jess: Is Christ dead when he's depicted on a crucifix? I mean, definitively? Maybe he's just groggy and unresponsive.

Johnny Yen said...

Thanks-- they had it on Netflix. I put it at the top of my queue.

PS, my friend told me that everybody he knew in the military was doing the happy dance when Rumsfield was shitcanned.