Thursday, May 10, 2007

I would offer you complete domination of the Academy Awards, but you already have that.

Hey! Hey, Queen Elizabeth! You look great! No, seriously, you do! Not that it's difficult to outshine Mousy McSecretdrinkersons, there, or her mother-in-law, Barbara "my husband cheated on me for years and everyone knew it and that's why I'm a bitter old bitch" Bush. But still, bravo on the outfit! You look regal. And frame handbags have made a comeback, and that's great for you, because you have, like, 800 of them, right?

Anyway! What I want to know is, will you take us back? Seriously! No, seriously! About three quarters of us here, which is an overwhelming majority, you know, are really fucking miserable, excuse my language, and we were hoping you would take us back into the kingdom. And you could rule us, you know, symbolically or whatever, and we would put you on some coins and stamps and t-shirts and stuff, and that new PM - we frankly could care less who he's going to be - could function as our executive branch. We think it could be a really sweet deal for both of us. Here's why:

1. We both hate the French.
2. Our GDP, while not being what it used to be, is still pretty damn impressive. Sure, we're no China, but at least we use the same kind of eating utensils you do.
3. You could have David Beckham back.

Think about it, your majesty, seriously, and have your people get back to our people.

10 comments:

RandyLuvsPaiste said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
michael said...

We should become the Knights who say NA! Three heads-- one Mexican, one Canadian, one US. We would guard the North America woodland, demanding from all who would pass to bring us a Bush. A nice one, and not too expensive.

Anon. Blogger said...

You are a riot. I love the way you think!

cheer34 said...

wait, seriously, Sr. cheated on Barb?

I do like the Queen's choice of handbags, as you said the frame bag has made a come back, Wouldn't you love to get inside her closet to take a look around?

Skylers Dad said...

Good plan, the only thing I would ask is that we get to keep left handed steer and drive on the right side. I just couldn't handle trying to learn another way.

dad said...

The pound buys twice as much as our dollar.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Michael: Icky icky icky icky ptang zoom boing enzown.

And that's all yur gittin from me.

AB: Shhh. I live in LA. Please do not refer to me as a "riot." We're all a little touchy 'bout that.

Cheer34: Please check out the Jennifer Fitzgerald entry in Wikipedia. The hypocrisy of the press (to say nothing of the Bushies) on the subject of marital infidelity is astounding.

SkyDad: Look, I don't want to blow it with these guys. We're going along, even if we have to learn the metric system.

Dad: They haven't switched to Euros yet, then? (sigh) So much to learn about my new masters.

Spooney said...

Can we have kippers for breakfast?...or maybe a wee bit Yorkshire pudding?

cheer34 said...

Thanks for the wikipedia lead. I did read it. Why no one made an issue out of it is amazing.

Grant Miller said...

But But But...why would she want us?