Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Sometimes - there's God - so quickly


God said in an interview with E! News this morning that he is tired of everyone invoking his name whenever something bad happens.

“I hear people who have just lost everything, even their children or their spouses, in some horrible tornado or tsunami or something, and they’re saying that I work ‘in mysterious ways,’ or that I am trying to test them with that shit. It’s not true. I don’t kill people for kicks. And I don’t kill them because they are sinners, no matter what your preacher tells you. Those people in Hurricane Katrina were killed by the U.S. Government, and by the Army Corp of Engineers, if you ask me. Not that anyone is, mind you. You know what would be nice, by the way, is if someone would actually ask me what I think before they go spouting off about who – or is it whom? - I want to live or die or get cancer or whatever. People need to take a little bit more responsibility for their lives, and also just deal with the fact that there is a lot of random shit out there, and that a certain percentage of it is going to fall on them in their lifetimes.”

When asked about the sudden recent death of evangelist Jerry Falwell, God laughed and held up his hands and said “Okay, you got me. I did do that one.”

13 comments:

Spooney said...

Din Dong the fat, Jesus-freak, money-grubbing, homophobe bastard is dead! Maybe Pat Robertson will be next!

cheer34 said...

I can't stop laughing.

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

I know it's tacky to delight in the misfortune of others, but he's such a hemorrhoid that we won't hafta tolerate anymore.

PS- Enjoy all the Republican candidates falling over themselves to eulogize him. Can't wait to hear all the crap they'll spew. What a windfall for bloggers. This will truly be a gift that keeps giving.

michael said...

Jesus Christ, fuckin' finally.

GETkristiLOVE said...

That's funny.

Skylers Dad said...

"...just deal with the fact that there is a lot of random shit out there".

Wasn't that on the 3rd tablet that moses brought down from the mountain, then accidentally dropped and broke?

Grant Miller said...

Amen!

dad said...

Falwell was one of the best examples of why a man of god deserves no respect.

Anon. Blogger said...

He, he, he!!!!

Another good one, Ms. Vikki!!

I love your blog! I've missed you lately. Stupid work, anyway!

BTW, I'm sure we can dial 1-800-send some money instead of flowers as a sign of our deep respect.... ugh.

Johnny Yen said...

I hated that fucking phony smile he always maintained while spewing hatred from his fat fucking face.

deadspot said...

I think I love you, Vikki.

Spooney said...

Baby, that is some funny shit! You make god seem so ....umm...human.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Y'all: You should've heard me yelling "Bullshit!" or "Fucking bullshit!" at the car radio on the drive home yesterday, listening to some colleague of his talk about what a tolerant and loving man he was.