Friday, August 03, 2007

Fear of a black BJ


So check it out. The above Florida State Rep., Bob Allen, was arrested in a public restroom in a park after soliciting an undercover cop for sex. Specifically, he wanted to pay the cop $20 to be on the receiving end of a BJ from Allen.

Of course Allen, a pro-life Republican who is married and has a 90% voting record with the Christian Coalition, is claiming he is innocent. He contends that he only offered to pay the officer to receive fellatio because, well, let's let him speak for himself:
"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he "was about to be a statistic" and would have said anything just to get away.
Apparently, "anything" included twice peering at the cop inside a bathroom stall, entering the occupied stall without being asked, repeatedly remarking that the bathroom was too public and that they needed to go to another location, and inquiring about what the cop was "into."

Seriously guys, this story just made my fuckin day. Another fuckin religious asshat hypocrite bites the dust. Awesome. Happy fucking Friday, everyone.






20 comments:

Chris said...

Um, wow.

I've heard of a shame spiral. Is there such a thing as a "dumb spiral"?

vikkitikkitavi said...

I can't believe you even have to ask me that.

Skylers Dad said...

Score another for the party of "Family Values".

'Bubbles' said...

Oh, that's facinating. He was offering BJs to save his life. Wow. He should have faked passing out so he had a little more time to come up with a story. That one is lame-o at its finest!

Beth said...

"Republican" and "Christian Coalition" seem to be the the new "friend of Dorothy" these days, doesn't it?

mrgumby2u said...

I've heard of people, when faced by "big scary black men" offering to give them all their money if they'd just leave them alone, but I've never heard of offering a bj. Is that a Florida thing, a Republican thing, or is that just reserved for encounters in men's rooms?

Larry Jones said...

Is that The Big Lebowski there in the background, wearing the white T-shirt and holding a camera?

Spooney said...

It just shows to go ya, that all pro-life republicans really are cock suckers.

Grant Miller said...

I love stories like this.

I mean, I love stories of self-righteous conservatives giving in to sins of the flesh.

I don't love stories, in general, of guys hooking up with other dudes. That's just not my thing.

Bubs said...

Beautiful. A Christian radio host and pastor just got arrested in Johnson City Tennessee, while wearing a skirt.

It's interesting. I've come to the conclusion that the people who are the most conflicted and repressed about sex in general end up being the ones who go out and engage in the most bizarre and degrading sex acts themselves.

dad said...

Nice comment bubs.

Clinton got free BJs from a woman, but Republican right wingers like BJs from big black dudes. Go figure.

dad said...

"I didn't want to have sex with that man."

kirby said...

I guess his wife can take refuge with Mrs. Ted Haggart while this whole thing blows over, so to speak.

kiki said...

oh, i wish so bad that the religious cunts here were going down in such public shame...

one day, hopefully.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Yeah, that's a pretty weak defense. How many state reps do you know pull over to a park to use a public restroom?

Bro said...

Wow. Accusing someone of being homosexual (by offering your services) would pretty much get you killed or hurt in many if not most truly dangerous neighborhoods. Good thing they were cops even if they were all big and black and scary.

No seriously, it's John Edwards that has issues according to Coulter, not this guy. He is just your normal everyday hypocrite that goes around banging the religious and self-righteous drum to cover up his repressed issues, not one of those liberal types.

Dave said...

On the Florida Leg. website this guy has "water sports" as his interests. What a sicko!

vikkitikkitavi said...

SkyDad: Yeah, what is that score up to, anyway? Anyone keeping track?

Bubbles: I think he's ultimately going to go with a "temporary insanity" defense. Everyone knows that insanity can be brought on by proximity to gay black dudes, right?

Beth: Yeah, who would've thought that closeted homosexuals would be drawn to the party of repressed sexuality?

MrG2U: My favorite part is that he offered to blow the guy in order to avoid...what? Being FORCED to perform fellatio?

LJ: Nice catch on the Dude abiding in the background!

Spooney: Well, maybe not all, but a surprisingly large number of them, huh?

Grant: You know what I love? When guys who claim that dudes hooking up is "not their thing" turn out later to be gay.

Bubs: Hey, it's TOUGH being repressed all the time! It's hard work! And sometimes all that Bible thumping gets really exhausting, too, and you just have to go out and put on a tutu and some roller blades and sing the collected works of Edith Piaf on a street corner in Miami Beach.

Dad: That's right, at least Clinton knew Lewinsky. He didn't call her "that woman" because he didn't know her name.

Kirby: Oh, didn't you know that Haggard was cured already? Yeah, two weeks of intense Bible study knocked the yen for tweaking gay prostitutes right out of him, I hear.

Kiki: Well, that's thing with hypocrisy. It's real tough to keep it under wraps forever.

GKL: Yeah, I think that's something only aging pop stars do.

Bro: How astute of him, being non-gay, and totally not used to cruising for anonymous gay sex and all, to immediately assess that a free blow job was what was required in that situation!

Dave: Dude, I thought you were kidding! OMG! You're not kidding!

Check it out, everyone:

http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/
Representatives/details.aspx?MemberId=4204

CiscoKid said...

Indeed- Keep themm coming...

dad said...

I think the camera man does the filming for 'Dirty Jobs".

". . .you just have to go out and put on a tutu and some roller blades and sing the collected works of Edith Piaf on a street corner in Miami Beach." Too much Vikki. I still laughin'.