Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Spooney's encounter with HOT LAVA!

So Spooney goes to a job interview last week. Once he got there, he found out that the company is called Diskeeper, and they make a defragging software that is included in many versions of Windows.

What he notices immediately is that there are copious amounts of Scientology literature posters, calendars, etc. placed EVERYWHERE throughout the offices.

He was also informed that because office hours end at 3:30, employees are expected to attend “classes” after work, on their own time.

Classes in being a Scientologist, of course.

He was also given a copy of the infamous “free personality test” and asked to complete it in order to be considered for the position. He got 20 questions into the 200 question “test” before asking himself "What the fuck am I doing?", and left.

What I am curious about is how a company like this, albeit a privately-owned company, is allowed to impose a “religious” test upon their employees. I’m going to be generous here and allow that they truly are a “religion,” and not a “crazy cult,” or a “criminal organization.”

In a cached version of the Wikipedia web page on Diskeeper, a statement that 95% of the corporation’s employees are Scientologists, and that new employees are required to read the “Scientology bible,” is still visible. A more recent version of the page has the statement scrubbed, I going to guess by one of the faithful.

What is not disputed is that the company reneged on a service agreement with a drug company once they found out that the company manufactures Ritalin, a drug they oppose, and that they do not offer support services to any companies connected with psychiatry, which is a field I’ve heard the Tom Cruise is very well versed in.

In Germany, where they’re still a tad touchy about cults that traffic in paranoia, doing business with Scientology-owned businesses is illegal, and the government conducted an extensive investigation into whether the Diskeeper software could transmit user data. They concluded that it did not, but the dispute was resolved when Microsoft allowed for Diskeeper to be removed from their OS by users.

Sure, it’s easy to conclude that Germany was overreacting, but don’t say that to Jon Atack, a former member whose life has been ruined by Scientology and their policy of “Fair Game,” wherein their enemies, or “suppressive persons” may be attacked any number of ways with impunity. Or in the words of L. Ron himself, a suppressive person: "May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed."

Dang. And Spooney thought his last boss was a pain in the ass.


Larry Jones said...

Weird. Microsoft itself says that defragging is not necessary on it's operating systems starting from NT and up through Vista. And yet they keep supplying Diskeeper, and presumably paying for it.

PS: I wouldn't work there, either, but I might have had a little fun with the "test."

Skylers Dad said...

Wow, pretty crazy stuff Vikki! Did Spooney feel like he should have been wearing a wire during the whole process?

Larry Jones said...

BTW, here's a web site that discusses this.

Lisa said...

Spooney totally should've completed the questionnaire, just so he could get a second interview and claim that while defragging is all well and good, what he's really aiming to do is get a foot in the door to bang Suri Cruise in 17 years.

Lucy said...

It's so weird, Scientology. Did you know none of L. Ron Hubbard's children subscribe to Scientology? Not one follows the "religion," if you want to call it that.

Fun Fact: The difference between a religion and a cult, are the numbers.

Jess said...

Yikes, you guys! Now they have all his information!! I hope he didn't give them his SS#.

I predict you will be receiving tons of literature in the coming months & years. That sucks.

I bet the "job interview" is just another way of getting people's info.

I have a friend who somehow got an invite to this super-mega scientology party where all the various freaks (Tom Cruise, Travolta, etc...) would be attending. She was all excited just to experience the freak factor of it all. When she got there, they required her to let them make a photo copy of her driver's license or they wouldn't let her in. "Screw this!" she said and left.

Spooney said...

Before I went to the interview & knew they were Scientolgists, I downloaded the free trial Diskeeper software, just to check it out. Holy shit!, I think there are space clams in my computer now!

Grant Miller said...

Wait. Are they still hiring?

Anonymous said...

I used to work with a loser who was desperate to actually get involved with Scientology. They took one look at his credit rating and stopped returning his calls.

kiki said...

i think there are some jobs that 'force' -used lightly- employees to be versed in their religion

like being a teacher at a catholic school
sure, it's relaxing, but it's still there

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

I work in psychiatry. Can I still join anyway?

GETkristiLOVE said...

Geeze, and I thought the Landmark Education people were creepy.

Great work on finding, or thinking to check the cached version on Wiki. That's awesome.

Flannery Alden said...

It's just a matter of time until the Scientology people collapse under their own weight. I hope.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Larry: You're still listening to what Microsoft says about their own products. They're always the LAST to know.

SkyDad: Are you insinuating that there might be something illegal going on? I am so bombarding you with body thetans right now.

Lisa: Poor Suri. So doomed. Not by banging Spooney, of course.

Grant: You would be a perfect Scientologist. Seriously. I'm dead serious, here, Grant. Really.

Kirby: I love that story.

Kiki: Did you mean to say "relaxing"? Sorry, I'm still not sure if y'all speak English "down under."

Randy: Sorry, dude. You are way too into drugs and way too not into being a closeted homosexual. Sorry.

GKL: Woo hoo! Props from geek girl!

Flannery: Especially with Travolta still around. Ba-dum-ba!

vikkitikkitavi said...

Sorry, missed some people!

Lisa: Dang, girl that Wiki thing was long. Next time, summarize.

Jess: Great story. Hey, I'm happy it's just not MY SS# they got.

Spooney: Any excuse to try to explain all that porn I found...