Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Sister gal, Chanel don't even make sunglasses big enough for THAT press conference

Look at that poor woman.

Not only does she have to live with that hypocritical right-wing asshole, but she has to stand next to him while he makes his bogus protestations that he did not solicit gay sex in a public restroom when he most certainly did.

And everyone who is listening to him is either thinking:

1. If my wife looked like that, I would have anonymous gay sex too, or
2. That woman clearly has not been fucked in a really long time. And that's just not good for a gal.

Me, I lean toward the second. Also, I would totally take her out for a little shoe shopping and girl talk. Later, over margaritas, I would confide in her that I, too, once had a relationship with a closeted homosexual, and how good it felt to finally face the truth. And then, perhaps, if I've had too many margaritas, I might even let a gal know that periwinkle is really not her color.

10 comments:

dad said...

Are you sure its all right for a wife of a Republican senator to have sex?

Skylers Dad said...

Dad: They are allowed missionary position only, and the only for the purposes of child creation.

No fun is allowed!

GETkristiLOVE said...

And hair color that matches your skin is not the best choice either.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You are too kind. I imagine a world where you and she are BFFs.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Dad & SkyDad: Yes, exactly. They are allowed to have sex, although if you are a woman, enjoying it is frowned upon.

Kristi: Tyra Banks is living proof of that.

DrMVM: Well, not BFFs, probably, although I am willing to work as a non-exclusive consultant.

'Bubbles' said...

I thought about her when I saw that, too. Although not nearly as cleverly!!

Look at *his* face. Good God. Talk about arrogance and pig-headedness. Yikes. I mean, just because you believe your own crazy ass lame-o lies, don't assume your wife does - or any of us do.

CiscoKid said...

Denial, Denial, Denial.

Want to bet who is next?.....

deadspot said...

Who's the dude next to the Senator?

*ducks*

kirby said...

I think I'll have a margarita tonight in her honor.

Grant Miller said...

He did not have sex with that woman.

The periwinkle line is the funniest thing I've read all week.