And remember that thousands of Americans died for it

We've been hearing for weeks about how the US has been building huge, permanent-like military bases in Iraq. It's only a matter of time before the real purpose behind our invasion of Iraq will finally be made evident to all but the thickest of us: permanent occupation of an oil-producing country in the middle east under an oh-so-friendly government. We'll just see who ends up with the contracts, my friends. We'll see. Meanwhile, Gary Hart is all over that shit:

A few weeks ago, I published an opinion piece entitled "And Now for Their Next Trick." The piece predicted that a new Iraqi government, more or less picked by the U.S., would invite the U.S. to stay in Iraq as a stabilizing force and that we were constructing permanent military bases for this purpose, all in accordance with the original neoconservative/imperial agenda in the Middle East.

I have been pleading with the American press corps for months to ask the Bush administration one simple question, a question designed to expose our true agenda: "Are we, or are we not, constructing permanent military bases in Iraq?" Full stop.

Pray for me? What are you trying to do, kill me?

Praying for people makes them sicker. Oops.

What I'd like to know is, can we prosecute this Maltbie asshole?

I don't give a shit whether Moussaoui lives or dies, but I do care about the integrity of our justice system, such as it is.

Moussaoui's life depends on whether the jury buys the prosecution's argument that the attacks on 9/11 could have been prevented if Moussaoui had been forthcoming to the FBI about his knowledge of the plot.

Come on. If they find that 9/11 could have been avoided if Moussaoui had told the truth, then they're full of shit.

I offer evidence:

Gripping testimony came from Mr. Samit, who arrested Mr. Moussaoui on Aug. 16 and quickly became convinced that he was a terrorist who knew about an imminent hijacking plot.

Mr. Samit said that he had sent about 70 warning messages about Mr. Moussaoui, but that they had produced no results.

The agent said he had been puzzled at the reluctance of Michael Maltbie, a supervisor with the Radical Fundamentalist Unit at bureau headquarters, to seek a search warrant for Mr. Moussaoui's belongings from a special intelligence court.

Mr. Samit seemed unable to satisfy Mr. Maltbie's demand that he provide a tangible link between Mr. Moussaoui and a foreign power, a requirement for a warrant from the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court. He thought he had sufficient evidence from two French intelligence reports showing Mr. Moussaoui had recruited someone to fight in Chechnya for an Islamist group allied with Mr. bin Laden.

But on Aug. 24, 2001, a frustrated Mr. Samit sent an e-mail message to Charles Frahm, a friend and, at the time, an F.B.I. liaison to the C.I.A., asking for information to help make his case. "We're trying to close the wiggle room for F.B.I. headquarters to claim there is no connection to a foreign power," he wrote.

Mr. Moussaoui's lawyers asserted that Mr. Maltbie had undermined the effort to obtain a search warrant by deleting some details from Mr. Samit's requests. Mr. Samit said Mr. Maltbie had told him he was reluctant to press for a warrant because doing so would be risky for his career and "he was not about to let that happen to him."

Maybe only funny if you've seen the piece of shit movie

From the brilliant McSweeney's

CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD DURING A NORMAL DAY IN LOS ANGELES, MODIFIED TO INCLUDE THE SHOCKING DEPICTION OF RACISM FOUND IN PAUL HAGGIS'S 2005 FILM CRASH.
BY BRENDON LLOYD

- - - -
ME: Are we working tonight?
CO-WORKER: Yeah.
ME: This sucks.
CO-WORKER: I can't freakin' stand those Indians.
ME: I'm part Cherokee.
CO-WORKER: Then why don't you go smoke a peace pipe and get the hell out of my country?

- - - -
FRIEND: How was work?
ME: Not bad. The usual stuff. Yourself?
FRIEND: I sure hate those Mexicans.

- - - -
WAITER: Can I take your order?
ME: I'll have the club sandwich, easy on the mayo.
WAITER: To drink?
ME: Why are you people always asking me what I want to drink?
WAITER: What?
ME: You heard me.

I wonder why

I can't get these DC4C lyrics out of my head today:

'Cause in my head there's a Greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far-off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here

The "soft bigotry of low expectations" explained

Sometimes the LATimes really does make me cringe. Like when they publish poorly executed and illogical editorials like this one from Jonah "Massive Tool" Goldberg, who waxes stupid about the Congressional Black Caucus:

As the Economist recently noted, gerrymandering and Democratic politics have resulted in a caucus well to the left of black America. Only four of 43 members of the group voted to ban partial-birth abortion in 2003, even though a majority of blacks favored such a ban. Most African Americans favor school choice, but because the caucus is firmly ensconced in the teacher-union racket, it bars the schoolhouse door to black kids who want a better education via vouchers. A majority of blacks oppose outright racial quotas, but don't tell that to the caucus. Or that blacks are heavily opposed to gay marriage.

Why pick on the blacks in Congress? Because they represent black leadership in America, and it has been on their watch that black America has descended into such a mess.

Yeah! I knew the whole black America mess was someone's fault! And I cannot tell you how, well, relieved I am that it is the fault of black people. Even better, black members of Congress, who, if they would just get on board and vote the "correct" way (the Republican way, naturally, because who knows what's good for the blacks better than Republicans?) could solve the black America mess in no time!

Also, I just knew the black people could not have freely elected black members of Congress that disagreed with Republicans! Come on, it just doesn't make any sense! But now I know that it was gerrymandering and the Democrats, pushing those blacks into electing people who don't even represent them!

One thing I am confused about, though. If black members of Congress have white people in their districts, do they represent them, too, or only the blacks? And also, what do white members do about the blacks in their districts? There must be some kind of racial constituent-swapping program in Congress so that the direct representation of black by black referred to by Mr. Goldberg can be upheld to such disasterous effect.

Maybe we should just do away with that instead. Then, the black majority disctricts could elect representatives of their own choosing, in free democratic elections, and then they would also be free to not vote for them anymore if they didn't like what they were doing, just like the white majority districts can.

And then, when Congress isn't effective in solving their problems, the rest of us can look at the blacks and say "Join the fucking club!"

Representative Cynthia Davis of Missouri calls me a dumb whore

Via Feministing:

From: Cynthia Davis
Sent: Mon 3/20/2006 8:02 PM
To: (redacted)Subject:
RE: Contraceptive Article...

Dear (redacted),
I appreciate your dedication to your legislative duties while on Spring Break. Your letter seemed to indicate that if we create chemical and pharmaceutical ways to tamper with mother nature, then we will solve the problem. Even if you solve a physical problem you still have not solved the moral, emotional and spiritual problems that come with a promiscuous lifestyle.

When I was listening to the debate last week I wondered what kind of man would want to enjoy free sex and then expect her to provide for her own contraceptives? These are the kind of men who want free whores. Any man who would be so low life as that does not deserve to have any woman love him. Smart women will stay away from men who use them and abuse them.

You take rights away from your mother with that mouth?

Boston Herald via Eschaton:

Smith was working as a freelance photographer for the Boston archdiocese’s weekly newspaper at a special Mass for lawyers Sunday when a Herald reporter asked [Justice Scalia] how he responds to critics who might question his impartiality as a judge given his public worship.

“The judge paused for a second, then looked directly into my lens and said, ‘To my critics, I say, ‘Vaffanculo,’ ” punctuating the comment by flicking his right hand out from under his chin, Smith said.

The Italian phrase means “(expletive) you.”

Not only did Scalia apparently graduate from the Italian office of the Dick Cheney School of Public Relations, but he tried to deny that the incident involved any expletive or obscene gesture, saying the reporter "incorrectly characterized" the incident.

The photographer quoted above stepped forward to back up the reporter's story.

But good luck with those body thetans, Kirstie. And you're right. They do make you look fat.

You knew some celeb was going to be the designated outraged letter-writer to Rolling Stone after their really wimpy expose on Scientology, right?

Surprise! It's B-lister Kirstie Alley. Brittle Bon Mot has a post. It's funny.

An excerpt from Kirstie's letter:

"Shame on you, Rolling Stone, for your slam piece on Scientology. Rolling Stone has been my favorite magazine since college, but come on — religion-bashing for the sake of sales? Yikes, dudes — your cool factor just dropped to Reader's Digest."

Jeeper's creepers, Kirstie! I know how "gear" it is to "rap" to your "homies" about "heavy" shit like your "religion," but if you weren't so busy being a really really creepy desperate bad ex-tv star with friends in mediocre places, you'd know that Rolling Stone dropped below Reader's Digest on the "cool factor" like, 20 years ago.

Women of Denver, Colorado...

...you're on notice, bitches.

My sister has quite rightly called you out for the extreme ugliness of your footwear, and your resistance to color and style. Take heed.

And the whole Croc thing? I'm pretty sure it started in Denver, or at least Boulder. And so you, the citizens of the greater Denver metropolitan area, I cannot stress strongly enough your need to arrest the whole Croc thing now, before it goes any further.

Los Angeles did not try to stop the Ugg thing, and look what happened. A whole nation became inflicted.

By the way, women of the midwest still wearing Uggs...it is so over. Stop wearing them. Everyone is laughing at you.

When positive stories attack!

Broadsheet quite rightly commends CBS correspondent Lara Logan for answering the question "Why no positive stories from Iraq?"

"You know, our own editors back in New York are asking us the same things. They read the same comments. You know, 'Are there positive stories? Can't you find them?' You don't think that I haven't been to the U.S. military and the State Department and the embassy and asked them over and over again, let's see the good stories, show us some of the good things that are going on? Oh, sorry, we can't take to you that school project, because if you put that on TV, they're going to be attacked about, the teachers are going to be killed, the children might be victims of attack. Oh, sorry, we can't show this reconstruction project because then that's going to expose it to sabotage. And the last time we had journalists down here, the plant was attacked. I mean, security dominates every single thing that happens in this country. Reconstruction funds have been diverted … away from reconstruction to -- they've been diverted to security. Soldiers, their lives are occupied most of the time with security issues. Iraqi civilians' lives are taken up most of the time with security issues. So how is it that security issues should not then dominate the media coverage coming out of here?"

Finally, someone besides Richard Clarke takes responsibility for 9/11

Moussaoui apparently is trying to commit suicide by testimony.

After years of denying involvement in 9/11, suddenly he says he was in the very midst of it, and not just as some dumb old 20th hijacker. No, he was going to get his very own plane, and he was going to get to fly it into the White House, and he was going to have his buddy, that famous shoe-bomber guy, help him. Because Osama told him he could.

I swear I've heard 5-year-olds who are better liars.

Moussaoui will almost certainly get the death penalty now, and his wish for martyrdom will be fulfilled, and the prosecution will declare victory, even though they botched the case badly, and even though their central argument, that the FBI would have foiled 9/11 if Moussaoui had told them the truth, is pretty much unintentionally hilarious.

Don't believe me? Check this out:

Before Moussaoui took the stand, the court heard testimony that two months before the attacks a CIA deputy chief waited in vain for permission to tell the FBI about a "very high interest" al-Qaida operative who became one of the hijackers.

The official, a senior figure in the CIA's Laden unit, said he sought authorization on July 13, 2001, to send information to the FBI but got no response for 10 days, then asked again.

As it turned out, the information on Khalid al-Mihdhar did not reach the FBI until late August. At the time, CIA officers needed permission from a special unit before passing certain intelligence on to the FBI.

The official was identified only as John. His written testimony was read into the record. "John's" testimony was part of the defense's case that federal authorities missed multiple opportunities to catch hijackers and perhaps thwart the 9/11 plot.

His testimony included an e-mail sent by FBI supervisor Michael Maltbie discussing Moussaoui but playing down his terrorist connections. Maltbie's e-mail said "there's no indication that (Moussaoui) had plans for any nefarious activity." He sent that e-mail to the CIA even after receiving a lengthy memo from the FBI agent who arrested Moussaoui and suspected him of being a terrorist with plans to hijack aircraft.

Oh yeah. The FBI so would have caught them if it wasn't for that stupid Moussaoui.

Andy, we hardly knew ye, ye no good piece of shit dickwad

BushCo Chief of Staff Andrew Card steps down. W says "He thought it might be time to return to private life."

Not quite the old "spend more time with the family" chestnut, but close.

Is that a Coleocephalocereus pluricostatus in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Spooney and I went to the Huntington Botanical Gardens yesterday.

I recommend it highly. And if you go, you really should know that it is a very serious place, and one devoted to scientific inquiry, and not at all the kind of place where one should be taking pictures of this sort:

Because it's just not funny. To make sport of the serious botanical research going on there. Just not funny at all.

The return of Memogate

NYTimes finally wants to talk about the Downing Street Memo, which records a meeting between Bush and Blair in January of 2003:

Without much elaboration, the memo also says the president raised three possible ways of provoking a confrontation. Since they were first reported last month, neither the White House nor the British government has discussed them.

"The U.S. was thinking of flying U2 reconnaissance aircraft with fighter cover over Iraq, painted in U.N. colours," the memo says, attributing the idea to Mr. Bush. "If Saddam fired on them, he would be in breach." It also described the president as saying, "The U.S. might be able to bring out a defector who could give a public presentation about Saddam's W.M.D," referring to weapons of mass destruction. A brief clause in the memo refers to a third possibility, mentioned by Mr. Bush, a proposal to assassinate Saddam Hussein. The memo does not indicate how Mr. Blair responded to the idea.

So...this seems like a pretty different mindset from the one the president described himself as being in prior to the war. You know, the mindset where he said, a month after the Blair meeting, "I've not made up our mind about military action. Hopefully, this can be done peacefully."

BushCo's response:

On Sunday, Frederick Jones, the spokesman for the National Security Council, said the president's public comments were consistent with his private remarks made to Mr. Blair. "While the use of force was a last option, we recognized that it might be necessary and were planning accordingly," Mr. Jones said.

"The public record at the time, including numerous statements by the President, makes clear that the administration was continuing to pursue a diplomatic solution into 2003," he said. "Saddam Hussein was given every opportunity to comply, but he chose continued defiance, even after being given one final opportunity to comply or face serious consequences. Our public and private comments are fully consistent."

I'm not sure which part is the "diplomatic solution." Is it the dummy plane, the planted defector, or the assassination?

Tagged

I've been tagged by Monstrous Joe:

You know the rest.

Accent – My relatives in the midwest think I talk like a valley girl. My friends in SoCal think I sound like a hick. You decide.

Booze of choice – I’ll drink anything that’s not brown. Can’t do brown liquor.

Chore I hate – Scrubbing the bathtub. And do not believe that Scrubbing Bubbles commerical. They do NOT “do the work so you don’t have to.” What a lie!

Dog or Cat – You need a dog to protect you and love you unconditionally. You need a cat because, well, dogs are morons.

Essential electronics – No such thing.

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – My soap and my hair gunk have a pretty distinct smell, so I leave it at that.

Gold or Silver? - Don't care. Just don’t ever buy me a diamond heart pendant from Zales.

Hometown – Marion, IN. Birthplace of James Dean.

Insomnia? – Of course the acting was good, but haven’t we seen this plot before? And the fake death ending? So cheesy.

Job Title – Not saying. It’s fairly inflated though.

Kids? – That ship has sailed.

Living Arrangement – Overpriced crackerbox in NoHo with boyfriend, 4 four-footed animules, and some fish.

Most-admired trait – I'm not sure I have one. My most obnoxious trait is that I will say out loud what other people are thinking but won’t say.

Number of Sexual Partners – Are you familiar with pi?

Overnight Hospital Stays – Myomectomy about 10 years ago. Be nice and I’ll show you my scar.

Phobia – I’m scared of the dark. Not kidding.

Quote – “Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson. Also, “I can’t drive 55!” – Sammy Hagar.

Religion – I’m a Frisbeologist. I believe that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can’t get it down.
(George Carlin)

Siblings – Older bro, younger sis.

Time I wake up – 6am each and every goddamn weekday morning. On weekends, I sleep in until 9. Woo hoo!

Unusual talent/skill – Are blow jobs unusual?

Vegetable I refuse to eat – Raw broccoli. Who decided to stop cooking broccoli and put huge timber-sized branches of it on top of salads?

Worst habit – I’m a know-it-all.

X-rays – Now?

Yummy foods I make – Two things no one eats anymore: pasta and desserts.

Zodiac sign – Aquarius. Jealous?

People I am tagging: Grooveva and David, because they are the only ones I know who haven’t already done this stupid thing.

To think, I spent all those years giving to charity without funneling the money back to my family!

I wasn't aware you could do this.

Donate money to a charity, but stipulate the funds go to a family business?

Take the tax break AND the profits, too?

Awesome!

Me and my sis are gonna keep those Katrina victims in HoGear t-shirts from now on, baby.

LATimes:

HOUSTON — In a city housing thousands of Katrina evacuees, Barbara Bush's donation to a local hurricane relief fund normally would not seem controversial.

But more than a few eyebrows were raised when the former first lady stipulated that part of her contribution was to be spent on educational software purchased from her son Neil's company, Ignite Learning of Austin, Texas.

"I would think if she wants to do something beneficial for Katrina victims, she shouldn't be making the decision that the vendor is her son," said Daniel Borochoff, president of the American Institute of Philanthropy, a charity watchdog group.

"Other education experts need to be making that decision, not somebody who has a family interest in the success of her son's business.""If everybody started doing that, it would ruin our whole system for tax-exempt organizations, because people would be using them to benefit their business rather than for the public benefit. That's not why our government gives tax deductions for donations," he said. "I hope other donors across the country don't start dictating that their contributions go to their family business. That would be a rip-off of our tax system."

A Sounds Eclectic Evening

So Saturday night, and Spooney and I are at A Sounds Eclectic Evening, thanks to the efforts of Grooveva, who knows how to get people up off their asses.

This is the first time I’ve gone, even though I’ve been a member of KCRW for about 10 years, and am a big fan of Morning Becomes Eclectic, and have tons of friends who’ve told me what a blast the annual concert is.

It IS fun, except that you have to pay way to much $$ for cocktails, and you have to park on the other end of CityWalk, which means you have to walk through CityWalk, that monument to the dunderheaded stroller-laden zombies of SoCal.

If someone was trying to drive me crazy, you know, like force me to commit suicide, then the plan should definitely involve me trying to get somewhere on the other end of CityWalk, thus forcing me to traverse CityWalk.

The people! They move sooooo sloooooowly, and they stop about every ten steps or so to shove more food in their kids’ mouths. And they don’t look where they’re going. And they’re easily distracted by shiny objects, and by artists drawing caricatures, and by street performers dressed in a manner similar to Michael Jackson at some past point in his career, the most popular being the “Beat It” point, and the “Billie Jean” point.

I hate people.

But the Gibson Amphitheatre is not a bad venue, sound wise, and once inside and armed with cash for drinks, a reasonably fun evening can then be had.

The bands:

Goldspot – I must admit I missed most of their set, but they sounded poppy and fun if a bit studied in their hipsterness. I do hate that they wrote the following in their program bio:

Favorite place to wake up: Next to a beautiful woman
Thing you can't live without: Poker

Ew. Can you imagine what was edited out? Favorite movie: Goldfinger. Favorite position: doggie style!

Feist – This chick fucking stood me on my ear. Her album is good, but she was so much more amazing live, like a folk-y, world-y Patti Smith. Check her out. She is the new Bjork.

Surprise Guest: Sia – She of the song “Breathe Me,” which reduces me to tears every time I hear it because of its association with the 6 Feet Under finale. She’s charming and surprisingly goofy and not sultry at all except when she stops chattering and starts singing. Unfortunately, her vocals were so loud in the mix I had to wonder if her goal that night was to shatter all the glass in the amphitheatre.

Gomez – I was so looking forward to Gomez. I’d only heard enough of their stuff to have formed a vaguely positive association. But they didn’t have their drummer, so everything they did was kinda weirdly adapted to not having a drummer. What the fuck? Where’s the drummer, guys? They’re not telling.

Surprise Guest: Main Guy from Spoon – Oh, main guy from Spoon. Where is Spoon? Why only you, the main guy from Spoon, and not Spoon? You said that Spoon “couldn’t make it,” but…you are the main guy from Spoon, so what is Spoon doing, if you are here? They’re not playing somewhere without you, are they, main guy from Spoon?

Ben Harper – I don’t dislike Ben Harper. He seems like a really talented guy, and the crowd loved him. And I believe the whole sincerity act, I do. But I dunno, all these people who want me to like Ben Harper kinda remind me of all the people who wanted me to like Dave Matthews.

Ben brought up Ziggy Marley for an endless (is there any other kind?) reggae tune. At that point, Spooney wanted to duck out for a cocktail and some fresh air. At first I thought “But it’s Ziggy Marley, a legend. Or at least the son of one.” And then I thought, “Yeah, a cocktail sounds good right about now.”

Surprise Guest: Franz Ferdinand – DJ god and MBE host Nic Harcourt crowed onstage about what a coup it was to keep the identity of their huge surprise guest stars a surprise until the very moment of their introduction. Too bad anyone who, oh, say, walked through the lobby of the theatre on their way in and was assaulted by the Franz Ferdinand t-shirts at the merch tables was not so surprised.

My readers know I think FF rocks so I won’t go on anymore about that. But at one moment, 3 guys were standing on the drum riser, all wailing on one kit at the same time, (I know, cute trick, huh?) and if your licks can hang in there in the face of that kind of assault, then my friends, you got you some licks.

Death Cab for Cutie: They began their set with two huge chords and the lyrics “So this is the New Year. And I don’t feel any different.”
Well, that is Death Cab for Cutie in a nutshell, isn’t it?
Whereas Franz Ferdinand is all perfect hipster hair and pegged pants and Beatle boots, DC4C is like a band composed of guys you knew in college. And how can you listen to your old college roommate, you know, the slightly chubby one with the attempted facial hair and the frayed Keds - how can you listen to that guy sing this and not feel changed somehow?:

The glove compartment isn't accurately named
And everybody knows it
So I'm proposing a swift orderly change
Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times

Friday fun, plus a bonus charming anecdote!

Video Dog rules. It's worth the Salon Premium subscription just to be able to go there everyday. If you don't subscribe, you can get a free day pass to view some of today's goodies:

Jon Stewart's riff on Cheney's tour rider. The Daily Show at its best.

A tribute to southern culture. Set to Dueling Banjos, natch. Hi-larious. Watch for the amorous racoon at the end.

The Eulogy from South Park's goodbye to Chef episode.

Lepre-con!

The Colbert Report's interview with my very own congressman, Brad Sherman, in which he professes to be shocked, shocked to hear that there is a porn industry in the San Fernando Valley.

Which reminds me. Several years ago, there were some dudes who lived across the street from me. They had a rundown grip truck, and seemed to make their living doing non-union movie gigs. Not so unusual. And then every once in a while, they would make what I assumed were low-budget "independent" films at their home. They would position lights outside the windows, and they would run tons of cables, etc. (Hey, I have lots of friends who actually do make low-budget films, so it's really not so far-fetched, okay?)

So one day, the guys across the street are in movie mode and I'm watching this woman out front wearing short shorts and a halter top get out of her yellow Corvette, take a duffle bag out of the trunk, and go inside the house. My ex walks up behind me.
Him: What are you looking at?
Me: Why do those guys have to hire such hoochies?
Him: What?
Me: The guys across the street. They're making another movie. Jeez, can't they get any non-hoochie actresses ever?
Him: (laughing) What?
Me: What so funny?
Him: Honey, she's a porn actress. They make porn.
Me: (shocked) What??
Him: (laughs) We live in the VALLEY, remember?
Me: I thought they made independent films.
Him: (falls down on floor laughing)
Me: Shut up, asshole.

Nevermind

Okay, about 2 minutes after posting (read post below), I went to Domenech's blog and found out he "resigned."

But check out this nicely worded "fuck you" from WaPo online editor Brady:

We appreciate the speed and thoroughness with which our readers and media outlets surfaced these allegations. Despite the turn this has taken, we believe this event, among other things, testifies to the positive and powerful role that the Internet can play in the the practice of journalism.

We also remain committed to representing a broad spectrum of ideas and ideologies in our Opinions area.

I hear they're currently vetting the entire Fox News division.