Thursday, March 30, 2006

Maybe only funny if you've seen the piece of shit movie

From the brilliant McSweeney's
CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD DURING A NORMAL DAY IN LOS ANGELES, MODIFIED TO INCLUDE THE SHOCKING DEPICTION OF RACISM FOUND IN PAUL HAGGIS'S 2005 FILM CRASH.
BY BRENDON LLOYD

- - - -
ME: Are we working tonight?
CO-WORKER: Yeah.
ME: This sucks.
CO-WORKER: I can't freakin' stand those Indians.
ME: I'm part Cherokee.
CO-WORKER: Then why don't you go smoke a peace pipe and get the hell out of my country?

- - - -
FRIEND: How was work?
ME: Not bad. The usual stuff. Yourself?
FRIEND: I sure hate those Mexicans.

- - - -
WAITER: Can I take your order?
ME: I'll have the club sandwich, easy on the mayo.
WAITER: To drink?
ME: Why are you people always asking me what I want to drink?
WAITER: What?
ME: You heard me.

2 comments:

Grant Miller said...

Goddamnit. I'm writing about this piece of shit movie today even though I've yet to see it. You, and McSweeney's apparently beat me to the punch. Is it that lousy a movie?

vikkitikkitavi said...

It's the kind of bad that pisses you off, especially when you hear other people sitting around talking about how good it is. And winning the Oscar! I know the Academy is not exactly a Mensa-infiltrated group, but you'd expect a little bit more savvy from them, at least.

What's bad about it is that it so desperately wants to be important, but it's all shadow and no substance. And it tries soooooooo hard to confound your expectations that it becomes completely predictable in that regard. You'll see.

It's just so impressed with itself, it's barf-inducing.