Friday, June 08, 2007

Chapter 46, in which the blogger panders to her audience

Sometimes this whole blogging thing makes me weep for the soul of mankind, and also just confuses the hell out of me.

On Wednesday, I put up this dumb post motivated entirely by my juvenile excitement over the fact that some actress, and yes, daytime TV DOES count toward one's frequent actor miles, was featured on Go Fug Yourself wearing a cheap top from Forever 21. (And at this point I have to pause so that all my female readers can click on the Forever 21 link and browse around for a few minutes before deciding that they do not need another pair of sequined flip flops...dum de dum....la la la....ahhhhhhh....okay, ahem.) And I know the top is from that store because I also own that same top. It tickled me, that's all. LORD KNOWS I wasn't expecting any reaction from my sophisticated and erudite readers.

But apparently same readers had nothing better to do than to debate whether the top in question is a top, or a actually a dress being worn as a top, and also to make snide remarks about the value of the post overall.

One reader commented that until I show some skin myself, such sniping was to be expected.

And so I bow to the power of my readers and post the above picture, taken at the 2005 AMAs. Yes, those are my real boobs, encased in a Bebe tunic TOP that I got on sale for about 40 bucks, and that is a real "talent guest" access pass, which meant that I got to stand on the red carpet next to Brooks and Dunn, who are tall and kinda scary and probably Republican and well-armed, but were real sweet to me and Spooney and shook our hands like they meant it. That pass also meant that I could have gone backstage, if I had wanted to, but rumor was that Dick Clark's embalmers were flashing gang signs in the green room, so I thought it best to avoid that scene. Not that I'm a player hater. Far from it.

Anyway, please check out the post that the picture is from if you're inclined to enjoy celebrity gossip and general show biz cattiness. I just reread it, and it's still pretty funny in places. "Bugle bead shrapnel" in particular is pretty funny to me, and I think I might trademark it.

Anyhoo, enjoy. Happy Friday, y'all. My patio is complete, and all is right with the world.

14 comments:

kirby said...

Glad to hear you have your patio back.

But your older post has me thinking about those poor Harajuku girls. I haven't seen them in a while. Did Gwen forget to feed and water them? Are they lying cold and lifeless in some human sized habitrail back at Gwen's parents' house in Anaheim?

Michael said...

It's the second time this week I asked a beautiful women to show a little sumpn and got a picture for the asking. Awesome. Cute, too.

I have no idea what I am doing right these days, but dear God, please, go long on this one.

Anyone who thought I had a bitch-slap coming for my cheekiness, no need to thank me. Pay it forward!

Spooney said...

Yo girl, we gonna rock that patio this weekend!

The AMA's blog: still hilarious!! ...even after all these years

deadspot said...

Sing it with me...

(sinatra)
...But thaaaanks for the mammaries,
Of every touch a thrill,
I’ve been through the mill,
I’ve lived a lot and learned a lot,
You loved me not and still,
I miss you so much.
(/sinatra)

Thanks! You've been a great crowd! Don't forget to tip your waitress! Try the veal...

deadspot said...

And yes, the awards post was great.

Grant Miller said...

Congratulations on your patio. Are Brooks and Dunn kind of like the Sigfried and Roy of Country?

Skylers Dad said...

Enjoy the patio! Drink, pee, repeat as needed...

vikkitikkitavi said...

Kirby: Don't worry, I'm sure it didn't come to that. There are plenty of guys in the OC willing to adopt young Asian girls.

Michael: Well, as my grandmother used to say, when a rack is what you got, you work the rack.

Spooney: How do I break it to you that we are going to spend the weekend buying patio furniture?

DeadSp: I'm glad you took the time to stipulate that you were invoking the Sinatra version, and not the Bob Hope version. I appreciate that.

Grant: No, and y'all best not repeat that around them, boy.

SkyDad: A toilet! I should have had them build in a toilet! Dammit!

Spooney said...

Skylers Dad said...
"Enjoy the patio! Drink, pee, repeat as needed"

vikkitikkitavi said...
"A toilet! I should have had them build in a toilet! Dammit!"

...or at least a drain in the middle of the patio.

Skylers Dad said...

Perhaps a case of those astronaut diapers?

kiki said...

the word patio

do you pronounce the 't' like in 'pattio' or do you pronounce it the same as 'ratio'?

i, personally, say the 'ratio' version, but not many people (at all) that i know do...

'Bubbles' said...

I hope that patio is making you very, very happy this weekend!

I had to laugh about Spooney's patio drain remark! When I asked the infamous handyman to make sure my patio drained off water properly (sloped), he understood me as wanting a drain (the noun). The drain is useless, of course, because the patio is properly sloped! Imagine how stupid he thought I was to ask for one!

Anyhoo, now I'll think of it as being more useful, Spooney!

GETkristiLOVE said...

How was the patio experience? I can't wait to see it in July.

Frank Sirmarco said...

I feel like I've been to the AMA's now. That should keep me from ever needing to watch them.

Congrats on the patio!