Thursday, October 18, 2007


Okay so the first S-CHIP bill, you know, the one W vetoed?

It was marked as a “key vote” piece of legislation by the geniuses over at the National Right to Life Committee. That means that, in this case, a vote for the bill would give a legislator a huge black mark with the organization.

Why? Because a previous version of the bill contained provisions that supposedly “rationed care and government-sponsored euthanasia.”

What the fuck does that mean, you ask? Look, let’s just not even go into that part of the issue, because, well…because it’s late and they’re just fucking nutjobs, okay?

Also, I guess they were upset that some prenatal care was phrased as care for “pregnant women,” instead of, yes, “fetuses.”

According to so-called “pro-life” people, every sentence looks better with a “fetus” in it. See? I just did it. Very nice, isn’t it? In fact, I don’t know why they don’t just make “fetus” a new slang word for good, you know, like “dope,” or “fresh,” or “da bomb.”

On second thought, they might have to recruit some black members into their organization in order to pull that off. Or at least K-Fed.

“Yo, ‘sup? This be K-Fed in da house. Check it, my new kicks are fetus!”

That might be a tough sell, seeing as how serial baby daddy K-Fed is now pretty much a poster child for choice.

Annnnnnnnnnyhoo, so, the S-CHIP was rewritten, and the offending provisions were removed, and several anti-choice House Dems, who by the way DO exist, are asking why the NRLC won’t now support a bill that EXPANDS HEALTH INSURANCE FOR CHILDREN?

Could it be, perhaps, because their boyfriend George W opposes the bill, because it takes food out of the mouths of hungry defense contractors in Iraq?

Could it be that they really, secretly, don’t care very much at all about the welfare of children? Or for that matter, anyone at all who can’t help advance them in their quest to become the premiere organization for hypocritical, women-repressing, no-awesome-sex-having, ugly-ass moron asshats everywhere?


Skylers Dad said...

I'm taking it a step past fetus, and saying that you are stem cell Vikki!!

Distributorcap said...

typical republican
in the womb we are you bestest buddies
outside -- on your fucking own

and dont get me started on the NRLC

Anonymous said...

The NRLC doesn't have the market cornered on repressing women. Did you catch that article in the Times the other day about the Home Making majors at that creepy bible college? That girls (I wouldn't call them women) willingly submit to that crap simply amazes me.

vikkitikkitavi said...

SkyDad: Word. Stem cell is like fetus, but way more fresher.

DC: Well, I think it's about time that fetuses started pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps. I mean, why should I care about fetuses whose families make over $83K a year, right?

Kirby: I did see that story, and I thought to myself, "what year is it, anyway?" I felt like I was back in junior high, when the girls would go learn to sew, and the boys would go to woodshop.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Contractors first, those damn sick ass kids never put anyone to work.

radialrelish said...

Right on. You should write opinion pieces for newspapers, start up some healthy smack down.