Glen Beck is like, totally a hater. So not cool.

I’m sure most of you have heard by now about conservative asshat Glenn Beck’s comment that the homes of America-haters were burning in the California wildfires:

When I say on the air, and I've said it a lot lately, that we need to come together and we need to get back into the center, we're being pushed on to the edges -- I want you to understand, that is not on policies. I don't mean that we come in the center on policies. We come to the center on principles. We come back to the center of the melting pot, that we're all one America, that just because I disagree with you doesn't mean you hate America, and I love America. We all love America. We just disagree on how we should function, what we should do, big government, small government. It doesn't mean you hate America. I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today.

Yes, how unfortunate for them, indeed.

Leaving aside the fact that even at the time of his remarks on Monday, a good deal of those affected by the fires were the citizens of Orange and San Diego counties, which are overwhelmingly Republican. Let’s just assume that he was talking about the people in Malibu.

The America-haters in Malibu.

He has now responded angrily on his show, railing of course against liberal bloggers and such, who he figures intimated that he wanted some people’s houses to burn down. He says we all need to get a sense of humor, because he was joking, and he would never want anyone’s house to burn down.

Not surprisingly, Beck has missed the point entirely.

Beck’s producer has countered that his remarks were not “uncivil,” because “unfortunately’ still means ‘unfortunately.”

Of course one could quibble this point, because Beck did not simply say “unfortunately,” he said “unfortunately for them.”

But I’ll concede that point as not really worth arguing, because Beck’s hostility to the people of Malibu is made apparent by the statement he did not bother to refute or explain, which is, that they hate America.

Beck says at first that we all love America, but then immediately contradicts himself by saying that there are indeed a “handful” of people that do hate America. And apparently they live in Malibu, California.

Rick Sanchez of CNN, on location to cover the wildfires in SoCal, made some equally interesting remarks, as HuffPost’s Mona Gable points out:

Sanchez appeared to be dumbfounded by the idea that Californians, whom he breathlessly described as most familiar to Americans as "laidback, Chardonnay-drinking, quiche-eating" hedonists, were helping each other through perhaps the state's worst natural disaster.

First of, Rick, Californians would not be caught dead eating quiche. Hello, ever hear of carbs? Secondly, anyone who would describe Californians as laidback has never driven on the 405.

Thirdly, fuck you. You think that because we say “like” a whole lot that we don’t care about our neighbors? You think because we regularly declare the weather to be “awesome,” that we don’t recognize a person in need?

Fuck you again. Fuck you, you fucking asshole. Fuck you.

Now, I’m not a big fan, collectively, of the residents of Malibu. They can be some selfish fucks. They have tried many times, for instance, to block the hoi-polloi from accessing the public beaches and hiking trails that they would prefer to make private. Also, their restaurants are overpriced. The sales help in their stores are frequently snotty. Their hyper-aggressive driving habits have made their little stretch of Highway 1 one of the most dangerous automotive clusterfucks in the state of California.

And that’s saying something.

But you know what they’re not? They are not, generally, politically apathetic. They care about 2 things, basically: money, and their causes. And those that support liberal or Democratic politicians do so because they believe in them, and not – and here’s the important part – because it benefits them monetarily.

I mean, sure, they’re obscenely rich, and sure, they spend way too much on handbags and golf clubs, but they also, overwhelmingly, vote for people who favor the government taking more money away from them, and giving it to people who don’t have as much as they do.

Therefore, if you wanted to call them selfish, the worst aspersion you could cast upon their politics is that they believe that a rising tide lifts all boats.

That’s a bit different than the obscenely rich people who vote Republican, isn’t it?

So how is it, exactly, that they are hedonists? How is it, exactly, that they hate America? By trying to do the things they believe will make it better, against their own economic interest?

Lord knows it pains me to defend the residents of Malibu, with their complicated coffee drinks and their pretentious dogs and their painfully full lips, but in a comparison between Glenn Beck and them as to who loves America the most, Beck is not fit to kiss their excruciatingly well-pedicured feet.