Monday, October 01, 2007

This goes to 11


Every once in a while I run into someone who, while informing me that they’re a Democrat, also confesses to me that if John McCain were the Republican nominee, they would have to vote for him in the general election.

Why? Because he’s “honest,” or “sincere,” or “tough but fair,” or other “words” and “catch phrases” that they’ve “heard” from “television,” or from “their daddy.”

Honestly, I don’t think people will ever learn. Never, ever, learn. Apparently we re-elected our current numbskull-in-chief because he seemed like a guy we would want to have a beer with.

Except, ew. I’m not trying to be all “I told you so,” but I knew that dude was a creep the first time I saw him. C’mon, how stupid do you have to be, willfully or otherwise, not to see through that good ole boy act? W is and always was the very epitome of all-hat-no-cattle. I mean, Jesus Christ, he bought his “ranch” about two minutes before he entered the race, stuck, like six cows on it and decided he was gonna be our cowboy president.

I mean, the guy is scared of horses. Scared. Of horses.

Horses.

So when people tell me that they like John McCain, I usually ask them if they know that he is pro-war and anti-choice, for a start. You’d be surprised how many people don’t know that. Or, oh hell, you know what? You wouldn’t be surprised at all, I bet. Like me, the ignorance of voters probably surprises you not a whit.

But now, now that McCain has decided that the next step in his be-president-or-die-trying campaign is to leap into the possible breach in the party caused by the Council for National Policy’s decision to announce that if the Republicans are going to nominate Giuliani, then they’re going to take their ball and go home.

McCain stated in a recent interview for Beliefnet that "the No. 1 issue people should make [in the] selection of the president of the United States is, 'Will this person carry on in the Judeo-Christian principled tradition that has made this nation the greatest experiment in the history of mankind?'"

Wow, pander much?

He also said “I admire the Islam.”

The Islam? Is that like “the Iraq?

But uh-oh, then he said something not so admire-y. He said “I just have to say in all candor that since this nation was founded primarily on Christian principles.... personally, I prefer someone who I know who has a solid grounding in my faith. But that doesn't mean that I'm sure that someone who is Muslim would not make a good president. I don't say that we would rule out under any circumstances someone of a different faith. I just would--I just feel that that's an important part of our qualifications to lead.”

Holy shit, did you see the size of that pander? That was HUGE!

But here comes a bigger one: “I would probably have to say yes, that the Constitution established the United States of America as a Christian nation. But I say that in the broadest sense. The lady that holds her lamp beside the golden door doesn't say, “I only welcome Christians.” We welcome the poor, the tired, the huddled masses. But when they come here they know that they are in a nation founded on Christian principles.”

If someone were to ask me if he could possibly pander more, I would have to say: none. None more pander.

I mean, seriously. The Constitution established us as Christians? Which part, exactly? The part about the power to mint coins, or the bit that prohibits inter-state tariffs?

Or, let’s see…maybe the part where they talk about establishing a Post Office?

It’s kinda sad, really, to see McCain, who used to talk smack to all those religious charlatans, trying so hard to get them to finally, finally choose him next for their team.

13 comments:

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

...but it IS fun to watch him "drink the Kool-Aid" to suck up to the Bible-Bangers.

Chris said...

I have a friend that I consider highly intelligent and tuned in to what's happening in politics and world events. He is certainly left-leaning. Despite this, he has a curious soft spot for McCain that I just don't understand. However, based on my friend's religious views, I'll bet this new development will have him rethinking things.

Larry Jones said...

You can hardly blame the guy for his desperate moves. To paraphrase Hunter Thompson, he has the worst case of political blueballs since Hubert Humphrey (Thompson was, in fact, referring to Humphrey, and the precedent was, I think, Adlai Stevenson).

As for Christian principles, if they would just stick to them and turn the other cheek, I'd smack 'em there, too.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You're right, he's got a big ol' pander. How do you think he landed Cindy?

kiki said...

i'm so glad my gf agreed to raise our kids - if we have them - here and not there

Skylers Dad said...

I'm not afraid of horse, as a matter of fact, I admire the horse.

dguzman said...

Why is all this so obvious to us? Is that we're smarter? More informed? More cynical? I mean, I'm smart but I'm not that smart. I read, but mostly I read books. I'm cynical, yet there's still a flame of hope burning in my soul: hope that something will finally move us over the tipping point, and everyone will come back to sanity again. Why don't the others see? I mean, the rich people support BushCo because it benefits them. But the rest of us? Why are there still thinking people who support these criminals? I just can't understand.

kirby said...

It's not too late for the Talibangelicals to run their own third party candidate. Wouldn't that be fun?

GETkristiLOVE said...

A Texas oil monger President afraid of cute little horses!

Distributorcap said...

the straight to hell express if you ask me

what an ass...

i always though McCain was more a media invention than ever the real thing ---- he just happened to fit a mold the media wanted..... but along the way McCain met Karl Rove and the rest is mental instability history

McCain in many ways is WORSE than bush ---- (tho that is hard) also based on his shopping skills in Baghdad -- he should order some toast with those eggs schrapnel

asshole supreme

deadspot said...

I'm all for the "or-die-trying" part. The "Be-president" part? Not so much.

Grant Miller said...

I've voted for Republicans on local and state issues before. But after BushCo. I don't think I could or will ever vote for another again. Any politician who can stand by Bush and remain a Republican has lost my vote forever.

Jess said...

It's sort of like Ron Paul. I know a bunch of people that like him. I think a lot of people think of him as the "Democrat Republican". Yeah, he's a likable guy! But he also wants to overturn Roe vs. Wade. BIG time!

When I was in Austin, every other house had a Ron Paul sign. I was shocked about liberal Austin voting for a republican and then I remembered I was in Texas. Ugh.