Thursday, October 20, 2005

Caption Contest Fixed!

Salon had a caption contest for the following picture:





















Okay, here's the entry I sent in:

"During an informal session with photographers, President Bush asks Bono what it was like sleeping with Cher."

Funny, right? Okay, marginally funny. But I didn't even get a mention. Check out the ones that did:

As Bono tells George W. Bush about the growing pandemic of AIDS in Africa, the president recalls that he "partied with some Africans once." -- William Wood

"Karl, I think the hair piece and the glasses work. Just don't speak to Judy Miller again." -- Mark Gorman

"I have you on my iPod. I like to listen to you while I am presidenting." --anonymous

President Bush invites Bono to sit behind the desk in the Oval Office, promises to be "right back." -- Bob Glickstein

"Hey, rock star, got any blow? I'm kidding! Totally kidding! Seriously, do you?" --Jeremy Resnick

President Bush asks Bono who "Joshua Tree" is and whether he may be responsible for hiding both Osama Bin Laden and the WMDs. --Donald Illich

"You must be thinking of a different Jesus." -- Jim Dowd

Bush: "Because, like our friend here, Mr. Bono, says, we want to help people all over the world take shelter from the pouring rain." Bono: "Um, poison rain." "Eh?" "Poison rain. The lyric is, 'Take shelter from the poison rain.'" "Not pouring?'" "No." "Poison rain? You sure?" "Yes, Mr. President." "Poison's a lot worse than pouring." "Yes, sir." "So I've been singin' it wrong all these years?" "Looks like." -- Locke Peterseim

"So you see Bonehead, this is where Bill and Monica, you know, did it." -- Richard Stovall

"Yeah, like you never hung around playing guitar while your country needed you for a federal emergency." -- Richard Klugman

Bono: "No, seriously, I don't have any, haven't done it since the '80s." Bush: "But you'd know where to get some, right?" -- Stan Denski

"You know, Harriet said she'll work Pro-Bono if you publicly announce you're Pro-Miers." --Paul Myers

"If you'll sing 'Ooh, I love to dance the little sidestep,' I'll do my best Charles Durning impression." -- Jack Crowder

"So you just quick fry the tuna and then dump the whole pan, apricots and all, into the salad bowl with the kimchi?" -- Josh Hilgart

Shortly after this photograph was taken, President Bush remarked to an aide that he was "surprised that the president of Ireland didn't wear a tie." -- Dallas Hayes

"You're shittin' me -- $35 for an eighth?" -- Joe Francia



The first one is pretty funny. The others kinda suck, though, don't they?

Am I wrong? Can I get some love on this?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

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grooveva said...

Ack your blog spammer is such a bastard. I hate him/her. Well I'd say 1 and 3 amused me but the rest… Eh… Yes I'd agree you should have seen some love. …Screw them.

Randyluvspaiste said...

the Pro-Bono one was clever.

Anonymous said...

Yours is way, way funnier. Over the heads, I guess, of the junior staffers running the contest. They probably looked at each other, asked, "Who's Cher?," shrugged, and moved on to the next entry.
--david

vikkitikkitavi said...

So, you are suggesting that Salon has a "no gays" hiring policy?