Thursday, October 20, 2005

Caption Contest Fixed!

Salon had a caption contest for the following picture:

Okay, here's the entry I sent in:

"During an informal session with photographers, President Bush asks Bono what it was like sleeping with Cher."

Funny, right? Okay, marginally funny. But I didn't even get a mention. Check out the ones that did:

As Bono tells George W. Bush about the growing pandemic of AIDS in Africa, the president recalls that he "partied with some Africans once." -- William Wood

"Karl, I think the hair piece and the glasses work. Just don't speak to Judy Miller again." -- Mark Gorman

"I have you on my iPod. I like to listen to you while I am presidenting." --anonymous

President Bush invites Bono to sit behind the desk in the Oval Office, promises to be "right back." -- Bob Glickstein

"Hey, rock star, got any blow? I'm kidding! Totally kidding! Seriously, do you?" --Jeremy Resnick

President Bush asks Bono who "Joshua Tree" is and whether he may be responsible for hiding both Osama Bin Laden and the WMDs. --Donald Illich

"You must be thinking of a different Jesus." -- Jim Dowd

Bush: "Because, like our friend here, Mr. Bono, says, we want to help people all over the world take shelter from the pouring rain." Bono: "Um, poison rain." "Eh?" "Poison rain. The lyric is, 'Take shelter from the poison rain.'" "Not pouring?'" "No." "Poison rain? You sure?" "Yes, Mr. President." "Poison's a lot worse than pouring." "Yes, sir." "So I've been singin' it wrong all these years?" "Looks like." -- Locke Peterseim

"So you see Bonehead, this is where Bill and Monica, you know, did it." -- Richard Stovall

"Yeah, like you never hung around playing guitar while your country needed you for a federal emergency." -- Richard Klugman

Bono: "No, seriously, I don't have any, haven't done it since the '80s." Bush: "But you'd know where to get some, right?" -- Stan Denski

"You know, Harriet said she'll work Pro-Bono if you publicly announce you're Pro-Miers." --Paul Myers

"If you'll sing 'Ooh, I love to dance the little sidestep,' I'll do my best Charles Durning impression." -- Jack Crowder

"So you just quick fry the tuna and then dump the whole pan, apricots and all, into the salad bowl with the kimchi?" -- Josh Hilgart

Shortly after this photograph was taken, President Bush remarked to an aide that he was "surprised that the president of Ireland didn't wear a tie." -- Dallas Hayes

"You're shittin' me -- $35 for an eighth?" -- Joe Francia

The first one is pretty funny. The others kinda suck, though, don't they?

Am I wrong? Can I get some love on this?


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grooveva said...

Ack your blog spammer is such a bastard. I hate him/her. Well I'd say 1 and 3 amused me but the rest… Eh… Yes I'd agree you should have seen some love. …Screw them.

Randyluvspaiste said...

the Pro-Bono one was clever.

Anonymous said...

Yours is way, way funnier. Over the heads, I guess, of the junior staffers running the contest. They probably looked at each other, asked, "Who's Cher?," shrugged, and moved on to the next entry.

vikkitikkitavi said...

So, you are suggesting that Salon has a "no gays" hiring policy?