Thursday, October 13, 2005

The contents of your toilet reveal your personality!

Nicole Roberge has conducted an unscientific study, and decided that guys make assumptions about a gal based on what she drinks.

I've pasted her guide below. But guys, if you really want to know what a gal's drink choice means, see my comments in italics following.

Beer: It doesn't matter what kind you drink, most guys approve and it shows you are laid-back and comfortable in your surroundings, not trying to impress anyone.But they advise that if it is a first date and you're going for drinks somewhere other than a sports bar, it's probably not the best choice. - First of all, who goes to a sports bar on a first date? Don't guys usually wait until the 4th or 5th date to clue us in to their unnatural obsession with sports played by others on television? At any rate, I love beer, and if you think that makes me crass, then fuck you, ya fuckin bastard.

Wine (red or white): A bit refined, or at least pretending to be. - If I'm drinking wine in a bar, it means that I've just read another article about how good wine is for you and how you can lose weight drinking it just like the French do.

Margarita: A fun-loving girl with lots of personality. - Don't piss me off. I've just had a really bad day at work and I'm trying to take the edge off.

Gin and tonic: Guys are split on this one. Some say it signifies a sophisticated woman; others say it is someone looking to get drunk.Either way, it signals that you may have hit your grandma's liquor cabinet early on. Use sparingly. - I hate gin, but I feel fat and it's low in carbs, right?

Martini: Somewhat classy — or you just like the fun glass. - I have a designated driver tonight!

Cosmopolitan: A bit trendy, and some guys view it as snobby. Also, it shows someone with expensive taste. So if the guy's paying the bill, steer clear of this one, especially if the date's going badly. He doesn't want to have to take out a loan to buy you drinks. - Some bitch bought me this drink.

Long Island iced tea: He knows how much alcohol is in it — and that you might end up spending the night feeling very, very ill. - Some frat boy bought me this drink. I knew I should've worn a bra with this top.

Rum and Coke: This is a basic, and fairly safe, drink choice. Someone who likes to have fun but can keep herself in check. - I'm feeling nostalgic for my college days.

Whiskey and Coke: Borderline alcoholic. Someone who is a bit sassy, will speak her mind and won't care what anyone thinks. - Wait a minute. My mother used to drink this. I'm becoming my mother. My first husband predicted this would happen. I need another drink.

Vodka cranberry: Someone not familiar with many drinks, but who still likes to have fun and knows that vodka will do the trick without tasting too bad. - I have a bladder infection.

Red Bull and vodka: An absolute party girl. Save this one for the club. - Do I look cool with this drink? I hope so, 'cause it tastes like shit on toast.

Smirnoff Ice/Mike's Hard Lemonade/wine cooler: He probably won't appreciate this drink choice; unless your date is at the 7-Eleven, get a real drink. - I am holding this drink for my friend who's puking in the bathroom.

Mudslide/white Russian: Any drink with milk in it scares guys. - I'm trying to appear younger than I am. Plus the calcium helps stave off osteoporosis.

Sea breeze/Midori sour/amaretto sour: A bit of a good girl. Someone who likes to drink but doesn't like the taste of alcohol. - I haven't had a morsel of food in 18 hours. Where is my car?

Tequila: Guys dig a tequila drinker, but some claim "she is a keeper — just for the night though." Avoid at all costs if you don't want to end up seeing his sheets. Otherwise, bottoms up. - I knew that restarant was dicey. Now I've got to kill this bug in my stomach before gives me a huge case of the shits.


Spooney said...

fuckin' A,

what's with the generic comments - selling movies?
that's annoying
can't they leave anyone alone?
for Christ sakes

grooveva said...

Seriously delete his biotch arse damn blog spammers!

So borderline alcoholic am I. Touche, touche.

MusicAl said...

you're lame, and probably just made because you drink something lame.