LA Law

Bil Maher on why Saddam's trial should be held in LA:

We are dying out here for our next big celebrity court case. Local news stations are so bored, they've resorted to reporting real news. Besides, how can the guy nicknamed "The Butcher of Baghdad" get a fair trial in Baghdad? He didn't just taint the jury pool — he gassed it.

So, whadda ya say, Saddam? Who doesn't want to have their trial in L.A.? It's always sunny, our juries are stupid, and you get to show up to court in your pajamas. And unlike Iraq, we have good lawyers. In Baghdad, they'll say you gassed the Kurds, but that's not the way it'll come out when Tom Mesereau or Bob Shapiro is representing you.

No, what happened is, you had your WMD with you that night at an Italian restaurant. In the Valley. Where you were dining with the Kurds. Who you love. You forgot the weapons after dinner, went to retrieve them and when you returned, the Kurds were already gassed. I mean, we're talking about the genocide of thousands of people here — don't you think Kato Kaelin would have heard something?