Thursday, September 07, 2006

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Perhaps you heard recently that, just as Germans love David Hasselhoff, Muslims, especially Iraqis, love Lionel Richie.

What is it about Richie that Muslims love? I mean besides the infectious beat of mega-hits like "Dancin' on the Ceiling"?

Richie says: "The answer is, I'm huge, huge in the Arab world. The answer as to why is, I don't have the slightest idea."

I have a theory.

And it involves my study of ancient Egyptian art.

Stay with me. I know that ancient Egyptians were not Muslims. I think they worshiped kitties and, like a dog or something. Oh, and the sun. But anyway, there is a thread here, so hang on.

When I attended college, in the 80's, Richie was everywhere. You couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting that goddamn "All Night Long" video, for instance.

And one afternoon, during a slide lecture on ancient Egyptian statuary, I made an amazing discovery.

Lionel Richie bears a remarkable resemblance to 18th dynasty pharoah Akhenaten.


Not only that, but just like Richie in the 80s, Akhenaten was everywhere in the 18th dynasty, mostly because he would take the heads off of statues of previous pharoahs, and put his own head on instead.

Ringing a bell?

You're welcome.


Spooney said...

That just made my friday :)

Chris said...

Fucking brilliant post! One more thing - 9-11.

GETkristiLOVE said...

That's just funny.

yllwdaisies said...

Holy Snikeys, Batman! You are a super-intelligent chick!

Grant Miller said...

Holy shit. You are spot on.

My wife feels Scottie Pippen looks like Akhenaten. I think my wife digs Scottie Pippen. And not in an archeological kind of way.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Spooney: TGIF, baby.

Chris: Terrorists win. Gotcha.

GKR: Just?

Yellow: It took you two whole days to figure that out?

Grant: Ah, many's the night I spent in the bars of Chicago trying to peddle my Scottie-Pippen-as-18th-dynasty-pharoah-Akhenaten theory. I feel her pain. But not in a empath kind of way.

dad said...

I see your mushroom crop came up.

Unclejbird said...

YES! The CIA desperately needs insight like this into Muslim culture.

Frank Sirmarco said...

I always thought that the bust the blind woman was making in the "Hello" video looked more like blacksploitation star Fred "The Hammer" Williamson than Lionel Richie...