Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Bitch is not going to be happy the next time she googles her own name

“Coming from Texas I think the majority of us feel that with a male leader we feel safer. I would not vote for a woman president ever.”

That people still feel like the person above feels does not surprise me. That they would express it publicly into a microphone is a little startling to me. And I’m not sure what the whole “coming from Texas” preface is supposed to mean, except that the capacity of Texans for rolling in their own rhetorical excrement never ceases to amaze me.

But the best part is that the above quote is not from the kind of NRA-belongin’all-hat-no-cattle cowboy douchebag that the Lone Star State seems to specialize in. The above quote is from a woman. In fact, the bitch’s name is Nadia Collin. You can hear her spew her unashamed ignorance about a minute into the linked NPR story.

I feel sorry for Nadia. I do. Because she strikes me as the kind of woman that is unable to imagine a member of her own sex being capable of strength of character and force of will, just because those are qualities that she herself lacks.

And I don’t want to hear any shit from my readers about how I cannot dissect her personality just from hearing two bullshit sentences dribble out of her dumbass mouth. If Frist can perform a medical diagnosis of Terri Schiavo that contradicted all her doctors just from watching a videotape of her poor dead head lolling about on her neck, then I can certainly call that Collin bitch out.

Think of it as one of those internet personality tests. Like what American City you are, or what Tarot Card.

In fact, Nadia, let me make it easy for you. Just take this short quiz:


When confronted with a difficult situation, do you:

  1. cry
  2. call Daddy (note that the term “Daddy” can mean either your biological father, one of your stepfathers, or your husband)
  3. cry really loud

At a party, do you:

  1. stand in the kitchen with the other women, talking about babies
  2. wash dishes or otherwise help the hostess
  3. collect plastic surgeon references

How often do you vote?

  1. whenever my husband lets me
  2. always – it’s important to defeat pro-choice candidates
  3. women should never have gotten the vote

When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?

  1. a ballerina
  2. a housewife
  3. a Bush sycophant

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

  1. Houston
  2. Dallas
  3. in my daddy’s house, biding my time until my bitch mama dies and I can assume my rightful place of honor beside the man I love best.

Now please tell us what kind of code we should give you for your results

 __ Live Journal/Blogspot

 __ My Space

 __ Facebook

 __ one of those internets tube things

Congratulations, Nadia! Your results are in, and you are:



Anonymous said...

Women like this put George Fucktard Bush in office instead of Ann Richards. Fuck her. Fuck her right in the ass.

vikkitikkitavi said...

That's what I'm sayin. Yeah! I love you.

kiki said...

fuck her in the ass indeed

vik, this is too funny (your post) love it

Megan said...

Well, coming from Virginia, I can say that because women tend not to want to blow shit up as much as men do, I'd feel safer with a female president. Unless, of course, that female president were Nadia, who seems like she might have been painting her nails while she should have been paying attention in government class.

Grant Miller said...

Weird. I took the test and came to the same conclusion. I guess I am an Ignorant Cunt.

But I was reading this thinking there have been plenty of hardass female world leaders. Thatcher and Meir come immediately to mind, but certainly there are others.

Phil said...

My Mom would kick that womens, and Bushs, ass.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Kiki: Legal disclaimer: I am not, nor would I ever, advocating the forced buttfucking of anyone. I am basically a namecaller at heart.

Megan: Hm. I guess it all calls down to whether you feel that blowing shit up makes you safer or not.

Grant: Wow, two pretty good examples of hardass female leadership coming from such an ignorant cunt.

Phil: Is that a good thing? Your mom sounds kinda scary. My mom isn't like that. My mom would just want to make sure that everyone in the world has a sufficient amount of Avon products.

Phil said...

Oh, it would be a very nuturing asskicking.