Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Bells On Contest!

So this deaf butch lesbian in South Dakota

kills the deaf butch friend of her deaf girlfriend

and then chops up her body and hides it in the woods.

She is caught.

The question is, who will play them in the movie?

Please leave your guess in the comments. Winner will receive no comments from me on their own blog for a week!

I call Queen Latifah & Rosie O'Donnell. And Misha Barton as the girlfriend.


Spooney said...

I say Will Smith (gains 70 lbs for the role) & John Travolta

Johnny Yen said...

Charlize Theron and Robert Deniro

kiki said...

Ricky Gervais and Kate Moss

GETkristiLOVE said...

Forrest Whitaker and Dustin Hoffman.

Jess said...

Well, there's the obvious: Ellen Degeneris & Portia DelRossi.

Nonetheless, personally I'm hoping for Hugh Jackman & Ewan McGregor.

Skylers Dad said...

After Star Jones gains her weight back, and also Nathan Lane in drag.

Chris said...

I was gonna go with Shirley Hemphill from "What's Happening!", but I found out she died in 1999. Thanks for telling me, everyone!

Instead, I'll go with James Earl Jones and my old Jr. High shop teacher (she's a dead ringer!) For the girlfriend, Jessica Alba.

Frank Sirmarco said...

Marsha Warfield (Night Court), Rick Ducommun (Groundhog Day), and Naomi Watts (Tank Girl).

I wanted Paul Winfield, but he died in 2004 (who knew?)

dad said...

Billy Jean King and Martina Navratilova

kiki said...

haha at Dad

that's gotta be the winner

vikkitikkitavi said...

Spooney: This is a serious film, not a drag show.

JohnnyY: Charlize - been there! DeNiro - too old and I think he has a "no drag" rider in his standard contract.

Kiki: Where's the butch?

GKL: Once again, I'm really upset that my readers don't think that there are actresses capable of playing these roles.

Jess: Jackman & McGregor not only aren't women, there aren't even Americans! Sorry, but I am trying to turn around the trend that only Brits can play Americans on film. As for your other suggestions, I think Ellen is an interesting choice. It could be brilliant to see her as the killer, but then you can't give an African American role to a white woman. DeRossi of course cannot play butch.

SkyDad: I'm ignoring the tired Nathan Lane idea, but I love the Star Jones suggestion! It could be a comeback of Travolta/Tarantino proportions! Of course, she'd have to gain the all the weight back.

Chris: Shirley Hemphill is brilliant. If she were alive. I'd be willing to test any public school shop or gym teacher, of course. And it's hardly a surprise that you're suggesting Alba for the only role that's likely to get naked.

Frank: I love the Marsha Warfield idea, but only if the other lead is a legitimate star. Watts is an Aussie, and Rick Ducommon is Canadian. And a man.

Dad: Hey, why not just make them aging tennis champions, too?!? Sorry, neither one of them can act.

Conclusion: Since there's no clear winner, I think we might have to cobble together a pitch cast from the suggestions here.

I got to go with my own suggestion of Queen Latifah in the lead. This will be her "Monster" role and will make her career. No more "fat black woman on skis" scripts for her.

For the second lead, I'm going to say Chris's high school shop teacher. I just have a good feeling about that gal.

For the girlfriend, we need someone who's believable as a backwater, trailer-park, prairie beauty. What about Paris Hilton? It could be brilliant, people.