Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Then how many squares of toilet paper for a Turd Blossom?

Perhaps I wasn’t the only one baffled by the Sheryl Crow toilet paper story that made the blog rounds yesterday. But if experience with BushCo has taught me anything, it’s taught me that if you scratch a silly or demeaning story about a liberal, what you’ll frequently find underneath is a worse story about a Bushie.

Think Valerie Plame, taken to its logical, trivial extreme.

Such is the case with Ms. Crow, who unfairly endured taunts of “all I wanna do is smell like ass” across the internets yesterday. For the record, people, the toilet paper thing was a joke, as was the line of clothing with detachable sleeves for mouth-wiping. Not a good joke, but a joke nevertheless, as anyone who read the blog entry in which it is also suggested that toilet paper can be rinsed and used again, might have guessed.

But the real question is, why was the toilet paper story so inexplicably hot in that Politico, Drudge-y kind of way?

Maybe because Karl Rove behaved himself rather badly in regards to Ms. Crow at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner Saturday night, and it wouldn’t do for that angle to get out before it has first been properly impressed upon us that Sheryl Crow is an idiot.

A silly, leftie, tree-hugging, biofuel bus-riding, ass-smelling idiot.

So Sheryl Crow and Laurie David, who were attending the dinner, approached Karl Rove, a man so vile that even his good friend the president believes that comparing Rove to a bit of fauna that grows out of excrement makes him somehow MORE endearing, and they attempt to engage him on the subject of global warming. Now, I’m entirely willing to believe that David approached him with a level of aggressiveness that would be considered outré in the genteel (read slavering) atmosphere of a dinner hosted by an association that has been so cowed by the present administration that their idea of tough journalism is to answer a big, steaming, shit-covered plate of BushCo lies with a hearty “Thank you sir, may I have another?!” - an association so completely seduced by their access to the criminals in the halls of power that they have come to believe that Rich Little constitutes entertainment.

These are the people who believe that Crow and David’s questioning of Rove was inappropriate, and “so wrong,” and who, in the face of Rove’s assertions that the two were not part of the “American people,” and that he therefore did not have to treat them with civility, blamed the silly, leftie Hollywood bitches that dared to speak to one of their most important sources about an issue that genuinely concerns them.

May I suggest, gentle readers, that that hall full of sold-out media whores are not exactly capable of judging what is, and is not, acceptable behavior in the presence of power? That privileged position is one they have abdicated long ago.


GETkristiLOVE said...

I hope the leftie, tree-hugging, Hollywood bitch Crow got the last word in with that chumpwad. I hope she writes a song about it too.

Chris said...

I have to admit, I fell for it. I should have realized it was a joke, but it was never presented as such. Serves me right for not digging a little. I feel like a heel.

If anyone deserves their own op-ed column, it's you. Beside your razor-sharp analysis, you write so damn good or well or whatever!

deadspot said...

Mea culpa.

Grant Miller said...

But what did David and Crow expect? He's made a career out of being a total dick. Did they expect him to listen?

vikkitikkitavi said...

Kristi: I smell a Crow/Dixie Chicks duet!

Chris: To quote Steve Martin - "Some people have a way with words, and others...oh...not have way, I guess."

DeadSp: I did not mean to call you out, dude. It's not your fault you're not as paranoid and suspicious as I am.

Grant: Why wouldn't a couple of Hollywood bitches expect people to pay attention to them?

dad said...

I am asking what did they expect? It sounds like frustration and anger took over. But the pig likes it. I would have never lowered myself to acknowledge him. He is afterall, a turd.

Anonymous said...

He's going to have to get used to physical contact if he ever expects to survive in the big house.

cheer34 said...

I like what you write.

deadspot said...

Oh, I'm paranoid and suspicious. I just really enjoy making fun of people.

...and I'm lazy. I could have looked on her site to see exactly what it said, but that would have involved actual research.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Dad: I dunno, sometimes you got to preach to the unconverted.

Kirby: I love you.

Cheer34: Well, thanks. I would say something gracious but I suck at accepting compliments.

DeadSp: Hey, if we wanted to do research, we wouldn't be bloggers, would we?

Larry Jones said...

If there was any doubt, now we know why Rove needed to hire George Bush as his gladhanding salesman: No one would ever vote for a dirtbag like Karl.

Spooney said...

huh huh huh....turd blossom

Anonymous said...

On the other hand, wasn't that Rich Little just hilarious? I nearly busted a gut.