Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Or you could just not drive a fuckin' tank to work, ya selfish prick


NYTimes takes a look at geoengineering:
The plans and proposed studies are part of a controversial field known as geoengineering, which means rearranging the earth's environment on a large scale to suit human needs and promote habitability. Dr. Cicerone, an atmospheric chemist, will detail his arguments in favor of geoengineering studies in the August issue of the journal Climatic Change.


Some of the proposals shown above include giant floating discs in the oceans, gazillions of tiny reflecting lenses orbiting the earth, thousands of square miles of reflective white plastic mulch over desert areas (take note, Bostonians!), and the world's largest Mr. Mister, that would help increase cloud production at sea.

Another proposal is to build the world's largest reflective sunshade, much like what you put inside your car windsheild, and launch it into orbit.

I'm not kidding.



Maybe we could even get one featuring Tweety or the Tazmanian Devil. I love me some Taz, y'all.

And since we're on the subject, I should mention that I hope to soon publish my own scientific paper on global warming.

It's my theory that this whole mess has been caused by reflective automotive sunshades.

Think about it. We're reflecting into our atmosphere heat that formerly was absorbed by our vinyl or leather car seats and ultimately, our behinds. So instead of that solar energy contributing to buttock-localized kinetic thermo-dynamic weightloss, it's going back up into the atmosphere and melting our glaciers and such.

The result is global warming. Well, that and a big hit for Sir Mix-a-Lot.


3 comments:

Grant Miller said...

The future sure looks bright. I wonder what I should wear. Any suggestions?

vikkitikkitavi said...

Uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........................

Lead underwear?

Spooney said...

"buttock-localized kinetic thermo-dynamic weightloss"

Now that's an excellent theory!