Monday, December 05, 2005

They're real. And they're spectacular.

Broadsheet finds this nugget of stupidity from the National Review's John Derbyshire:
Did I buy, or browse, a copy of the November 17 GQ, in order to get a look at Jennifer Aniston's bristols? [Yo, he's a Brit. He means "tits." - vik] No, I didn't. While I have no doubt that Ms. Aniston is a paragon of charm, wit, and intelligence, she is also 36 years old. Even with the strenuous body-hardening exercise routines now compulsory for movie stars, at age 36 the forces of nature have won out over the view-worthiness of the unsupported female bust.

It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff. Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman's salad days are shorter than a man's — really, in this precise context, only from about 15 to 20. The Nautilus and the treadmill can add a half decade or so, but by 36 the bloom is definitely off the rose. Very few of us, however, can face up to this fact honestly, and I am sure this diary item will generate more angry e-mails of protest than everything else I have written this month.

Yeah, no shit, and isn't that the point?

15?! What a creep.

Of course, he's never seen MY breasts.

6 comments:

Jess said...

Dude, that "column" disturbed the hell out of me. I wrote a letter to the editor suggesting that they fire the creep or at least hide him away during "Bring your daughter to work" Day.

vikkitikkitavi said...

I know! It's super-duper creepy!

Especially when I think back to being 15. Fuck, I didn't even have breasts yet hardly. Like training bra-size breasts. Is that what he likes? EW!

I mean, it's not the size thing, of course, its just that it smacks of kiddie-fucker, am I right?

Bro said...

Where does this “standard of beauty” of the salad bar mentality come from? It all about money IMHO. Women are exposed to advertisement non-stop about what they should look like if only they buy all the right products and yes there is money is exposing men to what they should desire in the form of a woman because that will translate into more sales also.

There are several industries that make money by making the average person feel insecure about themselves. You need to buy their products to achieve the next level, the level demanded by society, your workmates, your spouse and your next lover to be.

And just try and tell someone they look just fine, just right for being in the middle years and with a post-childbirth body and they will disagree, though it is actually impossible to reverse either of those. Then they end up not being happy with some part themselves and that’s sad because they are just right by definition… and it’s all because there is money in making people feel that way.

Case in point, there isn’t near as much money in men’s products so it’s actually okay to have a gut and atrophied muscles, in fact men’s fashions are designed to hide those attributes (Jacket and tie) The exception would appear to be I can’t score with single young women if I have grey in my beard, but I can’t believe they are making that much money of the Just For Men product or they would get real actors for the commercial.

Money.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Right on, bro.

If I spent have as much time on something important as I currently spend worrying about my muffin top, I might actually get somewhere.

bro said...

Whats a muffin top? Is that a hat?

vikkitikkitavi said...

A muffin top is that cushy layer of stomach and/or back that spills over the waistband of your pants.

With low rider pants and high rider tops de riguer in LA - know matter what your build, we really did need a special phrase for this anatomical feature.