"And personally, I haven't yet scratched someone who objected to abortion on "life is sacred" grounds without finding underneath a person who finally just objected to women having sex without consequences."
Well, I'm sure you've heard about the so-called "pro-life" blogger who took an Onion article called "I'm totally Psyched About this Abortion" as real, and wrote a post that has now become a public humiliation.
Here's a bit of his post:
Who does Miss Weber blame her abortion on? The pro-life movement.
"The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity."
It's our fault? She says:
"If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place."
Sorry ma'am, if you hadn't had sex you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married.
See? See what I mean? They hate fucking. And they really really hate WOMEN ENJOYING SEX. It really bugs them. Go figure. So I say the best way to get back at the so-called "pro-lifers" is to have lots of sex, and enjoy it, and talk about it a lot in loud voices in public places.
I'll go first.
I love sex. Sex is great. In fact I wish I was having sex RIGHT NOW. And no, I am NOT MARRIED. And yes, I entend to use BIRTH CONTROL. Because sex for me is NOT ABOUT PROCREATION. It is about FUN.
WET HOT STICKY FUN!
Seriously, though, Spooney, if you're reading this, call me.
8 comments:
Right now I'm torn between being turned-on & creeped-out
Spooney, if this was my girl talkin, I wouldn't even drive over - they would be having to air-drop me in!!!
OK, I was just kiddin 'bout the creeped-out part
& yes I am one lucky dude
Way to kill it, dude.
You are sick. You disgust me. You deviant! That "pro-life" blogger cannot be serious??
Oooh, this sounds fun! Okay, how 'bout this:
I LOVE SEX. SEX IS SO GREAT i LIKE TO DO IT IN PUBLIC PLACES, LIKE RESTAURANT BATHROOMS, AMUSEMENT PARKS (yes, where CHILDREN could possibly be poisoned by the notion), AND IN CHURCH! NOT ONLY IS IT NOT ABOUT PROCREATION FOR ME, I ACTUALLY NEVER WANT CHILDREN! EVER!!
Whew, that was such a release! (The all-caps was in an effort suggest loud talking.) How'd I do?
Stellar: Okay, I'm not sure what a dicease is, but at least you are getting it for free.
Grant: You come on like a prude, baby, but I know better.
Hill: That's my girl!! Yeah!!
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