Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Sorry, but Go Sox!

A Twins fan outlines the 5 stages of AL Central grief:

Stage 1: Denial
The Sox will fade. They can't be this good forever. The bubble will burst. The exuberance will become rational. If we can just pick up a game a week. Just a game a week. Well, maybe, um, two games for a couple of weeks…

Stage 2: Anger/Questioning
Why would a just God allow such things to happen? Why is evil rewarded and goodness punished? Why would Torii Hunter get struck down in the prime of his youth while Bret Boone was allowed to remain in perfect health? Who replaced the regular bats with ass-bats? Why JC Romero, why?

Stage 3: Bargaining
If the Twins can sweep this five-game series against Detroit, I'll go to the game every Sunday. I'll be good from now on. I'll wear my Joe Mauer jersey all the time, even if it does give me a rash. I'll collect all the Twins medallions. I'll won't complain about what a horrific pile of steaming crap our stadium is. I'll never call Carl Pohlad a black hearted tight-ass again. I'll…

Stage 4: Depression
I can't believe we lost three out of five to Detroit.

Stage 5: Acceptance.
I --
Wait a minute, acceptance? Are you crazy? There's still two months of baseball left to play!

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