Okay, so I'm reading this pretty boring gossip item about whether David Hasselhoff, (who, by the way, is working on a musical of his life to be staged in Australia - sorry, Australia) was denied boarding on a British Airways flight because he was drunk, or because, as his publicist contends, he was suffering from a reaction to "strong antibiotics." (c'mon, who HASN'T popped a couple of Amoxicillin, dropped their drawers, and belted out show tunes in the British Airways terminal?)
And so right as I'm about to doze off, I come across this shocking revelation: "Last month, the actor sliced four tendons and an artery in a shaving accident at his London hotel."
Four tendons and an artery? Shaving accident?
[gulp]
Does The Hoff have a death wish?
Ooh, it's a compelling thought, ain't it? That one of the great masters of non-self-aware, non-ironic self-promotion is harboring a secret self-loathing so deep that it compels him to take razor-and-alcohol-fueled swipes at his very life force?
That kinda makes me like him just a little.
And truth be told, I really don't want him to go. I don't want him to leave us...okay, mostly because I don't want retrospectives of his life replacing the usual fine programming on my beloved E! channel.
So don't go, Hoff. Come back to us, all is forgiven. And by "all," I mean this. And this. And for chrissakes, this.
7 comments:
No Hoff, don't do it!
We need you now, more than ever!
I tried watching "Knight Rider" the other day. It was on cable. Back in the day, it was my favorite show!
Not any more. I got through about 1/4 of it. And then I deleted "The A Team" off my Tivo without bothering to try to watch it.
Once (when I was around 9) my dad said "If you had to choose between owning Kitt or The Black Stallion, who would you choose. WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?!"
I swear to god, I stayed up nights thinking about it. I still do. My dad is evil.
He's the Pat Boone of the 21st century. Also the 1980's and 90's.
Because he's clean-cut, but he really rocks.
Take it from a nurse: nobody could ever confuse an antibiotic reaction for a bender.
Publicists are just amazing people, huh?
Spooney: I think you especially need him.
Jess: For me it was Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang or the Nestle's Quik bunny.
LJ: Of course Boone is also a member of the GMofN-S-E,N-IS-P.
RandyLuvP: Does that mean that Lindsey Lohan wasn't really hospitalized today for "dehydration?"
Hm, "shaving accident":Hoff as "kitchen accident":Middle-Eastern Men and Mother-in-Laws Who Set Their Wives on Fire Because they Don't Want them Anymore...?
I always get into trouble when I trim my bush.
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