Windows is an Abusive Boyfriend

The kings of office humor, Fifth Circle of Cubicle Hell, whom I found through True Ancestor, wrote a hilarious post last week called "If Operating Systems were women." Read it here.

Do it. It's funny.

I responded with my own piece. They posted it here.

Or you can just read it below:

Windows is an Abusive Boyfriend

He's always trying to impress you with the shortcuts he knows to getting places, even though they don't save any time and aren't really any shorter.

He claims to be a modern guy, but really, he does things just the way his father did, and his father before that.

Everytime he puts on a new pair of shoes, he forgets how to walk.

He brags about how tough he is all the time, but he keeps getting beat up by computer geeks.

He doubts your ability to do anything right and responds to every request by repeatedly asking "Are you sure?"

He's very rigid, and won't even watch a different tv show unless you tell him it's okay 5 times.

He cheats on you and brings home diseases although his story is that they "exploited a vulnerability" in his protection.

Every couple of months you have to drop everything and sew a new patch on his "protection."

He kicks you out of the house with just the clothes on your back, even though you've been sitting there doing exactly what he told you to do.

You'd like to leave him, but it would mean that your car, your stereo, and all your posessions would stop working if you did and you can't afford to replace them.