Thursday, March 02, 2006

How can you meet all your pets in Heaven, if they haven't accepted our Lord Jesus Christ as their own personal savior?

Who else but The Onion:
Kittens' hearts, at birth, are filled with what theologians call "original mischief." Mischief, if left to grow on its own, can sprout into evil. That's why you must fill their hearts with Jesus instead. If you wait, your cats might find seductive role models among the back-alley strays and rough felines from the wrong side of town. You could also end up with an unwanted pregnancy.



(thanks to RanMan for the link)

5 comments:

Spooney said...

Oh Lord please give our little Banana the strength to fight to forces of mischief! Repent! Repent little one! May the power of Jesus stop her from shredding the toilet paper, Amen!

yo sisters cube-mate said...

Evil cats are turned into musical instruments!

http://www.kirchersociety.org/blog/?p=116

Jess said...

So THAT'S why Loki is such a little shit! He has yet to accept Jesus into his fluffy little heart.

GETkristiLOVE said...

And God laid one hand on thee.. and he shall call the one Xerox, thou does rest in heaven. Praise the lord, thy Copy Cat.

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

I'm going straight to Hell (I wanna be with all my friends anyway). Lucky for me, my cats do something everyday that guarantees them a spot there too.