Friday, January 27, 2006

Happy fucking birthday

Babies, I am turning 45 this weekend.

Yeah. Ouch.

Ah, the mid-forties. Ah, the mysterious aches and pains, ah, the spontaneous napping reflex, ah the continuously-degrading skin viscosity.

The worst thing? I am moving up to the next check box. You know, the 45-60 checkbox on the insurance forms, and the application forms, the goddamn magazine subscription forms.

I do not want the people at Vogue thinking that their subscriber base is skewing old, and start running ads for Depends, and Pepsodent, and oh, what ever else old people need to keep their bodies from dismembering en route to the early bird special.

And where did the time go?

One minute you're a young girl of 33, pondering marraige and a move to the big city, and the next minute you're fucking 45, and you think you're hot shit in your Volvo wagon, and you can't remember the last time someone called you "miss" instead of "ma'am."

But you know what? Fuck it. So what if I am the vaguely ridiculous when I rock out at the Franz Ferdinand concert? So fucking what?

Life is good, babies, and I intend to keep living it, in spite of my age, in spite of BushCo & Schwarzengroper, in spite of never having slept with Bruce Springsteen, not even once.

Life is good for me, and I hope it is for you too, my dear gentle readers.

Cheers. Love to you all.

And for all my LA friends...party at my house Saturday night.

I'll be the one wearing the Depends.


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You get more beautiful every year and I knew it would happen. You are at an age where your inter-beauty adds to your physical beauty.

Anonymous said...

I can't say it any better than your dad just did.
You'll always be beautiful to me.

Melissa said...

Can I just say that, in one of my posts yesterday, I told people to rock out to a Franz Ferdinand song? No shit.

I hope when I'm 45, I'm rocking out to some kick-ass band, too.

MonstrousJoe said...

Oh Happy Day!!!

Anonymous said...

Have you noticed how, when you have to enter your DOB on some internet form, you have to scroll way down now to your birth year? That kinda sucks.

That should be your biggest problem. Rock on, beautiful.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Thank you, Daddy.

Thanks, all, for the good wishes on my birthday.

vh

Anonymous said...

You are of course joking. Most women would give their left nut to look the way you do at any age. Or, well, whatever it is your sort does for nuts. Happy belated birthday!